Dear Darla

TWELVE

2012-01-18T08:46:00.009-10:00

"When endurance becomes enough to overcome there is no better feeling than that of standing,waking, dreaming and hoping together at the end of the day with the one you said, "I do!" to. Sometimes it seems it may never work out or it may seem too hard but there is a beauty in triumphing over trials together."

est. Jan. 15, 2000

My best friend Ma'afu--who wrote this on my Facebook page the day of my anniversary--has seen me through the entire 12 years of ENDURANCE; the good, the bad and the ugly. For him to say such a thing, "at the end of the day" is not just for flattery's sake. My marriage really has seen better days lately, which has been so beneficial not just for me and Bo, but especially our kids. So this weekend, instead of retreating to SLC alone (where said best friend works @ Homewood Suites), we went with kids in tow.

Our first night at the hotel was spent watching tv, facebooking, making pizza and saimini and just enjoying our relax time. I didn't want to get up the next morning, and the free breakfast wasn't enough to keep me out of my comfortable bed for very long. Lole and her Dad were gone the whole morning, and when they got back, surprised me with some balloons and flowers. It is the 2nd year that Lole has helped her Dad pick out something for me, and she always gets so excited! That morning, she must have hugged and wished us Happy Anniversary 10 times, meanwhile, Laila kept wishing us Happy Birthday, lol!

Luckily for us, our sitters happened to be in SLC too, so they stayed with the kids while Bo and I spent the WHOLE day together. It was so good to be away from Utah county, feeling "touristy" in this metropolitan Sabbath-observing town, with little traffic...just my style! We found Gateway Mall a few blocks up and cruised around for lunch. We came across an Asian (fusion) place called Thai Foon, (totally misleading name) where we ate (junk) sushi, (yummy) miso soup, some (alright) duck and (bomb) Seafood curry. We did a little shopping, driving around town and even visited Temple Sq.

As soon as we got back to the hotel to get ready for the night, we find our oldest laying in bed, crying. She had a migraine and was throwing up everywhere. Some ibuprofen and rest did the trick, but this ended her night quickly. Hours later, Bo and I set on the town only to be disappointed that nothing was really going on. Some restaurants were closed or closing early, and there wasn't much that the average out-of-towner could do. We settled on a random Sports Bar & grill, where Bo got acquainted with some hillarious truckers from Missouri. Picture Dale and Boomhauer from "King of the Hill"...it was classic, so I had to get a pic. lol.

I convinced hubby to take us to WVC where some friends were visiting from Hawaii. That was fun, being in the company of hometown peoples, kanikapila'ing for the gods. It made me homesick to hear Vika, uke in hand, serenading us like she would in Laie, those lonely nights I would frequent kava circles. Isaac, her classmate, also dedicated "Mrs Jones" to us for our annivesary, lol. The next day, we cleaned up, checked out and we were on the road again to our little valley. The snow was so pretty on our drive home.

All in all it was a good weekend and I have the scar to remind me of the time well spent. (see above) Bo and I both know that we are farrrrr from perfect. We reflect daily on our victories as well as our defeats. We know we have tons more to work on, and now that we are beginning to taste the sweet again, we are more focused on how to keep it that way. Having my kids see the importance of celebrating our marriage...that is what I appreciated the most. Happy TWELVE, Love!

Moving On

2012-01-12T17:51:00.010-10:00

2011 was very WOW. This is the only word to adequately describe it for me. New Years was the WORST EVER, started it off fighting with my husband, after also fighting all Christmas morning. I don't have the energy to talk about, let alone think about the events that surrounded that time, but let's just say I almost moved on my damn self early that year. In 2011, Laila turned 2, Lole turned 6, and shortly after that, Bo quit his job after being asked to take a demotion. That event was probably the hardest to deal with because I was partly at fault, ok, mostly at fault. I have always wanted Bo to quit his job because it was the nunmber one stressor in our marriage. But when he finally did (with a lot of my help), I had instant regrets. Not having a weekly paycheck like we were used to was hard. Then in June, my family (Poloais) had our very first family reunion with just our siblings and parents, grandchildren, etc. It was held in Orem, UT and was THE highlight of my year. At some point I will go back and write about it because it was truly unforgettable!
So, this brings us to the very biggest change my family has gone through in 2011, and that was making the decision to STAY here in Utah after my reunion. It's been 7 mos, going on 8, since we left our island paradise. Hawaii (and esp Laie/Hauula/Kahuku) is THE PLACE, no doubt about that. I miss it so much. But being here has had its advantages, and mostly it starts and ends with family. It has been great spending the holidays and other special events with my parents--whom I have lived away from for about 14 years--as well as my oldest sister and her kids. Bo's younger sisters live here (my babysitters, lol), my best friend Maafu, as well as heaps of Bo's friends and family. The biggest plus so far, has been being VIRTUALLY DRAMA FREE since we have moved. Even I am at a loss to describe the complete contrast in our lives. My sister Fia compared recent developments (ie, me working, and my husband staying home with the kids) to night and day, and if you knew the type of things we have gone through, you'd agree. As much as I hate being away from HOME, my kids' other grandparents in Laie, and my sister and her kids (holding down the fort in Kahuku), I cannot fathom going back to the state of misery I was in the last 6 years! I never want to know it again. I wasted a lot of tears and lost a lot of faith. However, I also felt like I gained some power back during the early part of 2011, and I continue to feel more confident in my fate today. We had a great summer here in Utah, and so far it has only snowed a few days this Winter. I turned 33, my husband turned 34, and we joined a community that is filled with lots (and LOTS) of people from my hometown area. Although my little family is still struggling to find our momentum, 2012 will bring more changes for the better whether we last out here in the Beehive state or not. Even with some of the uncertaincies, I am happy to be in a place (literally, "Happy Valley" and figuratively) to start anew. 2011, we're MOVING ON!

Puter=Pooter

2012-01-11T20:43:00.003-10:00

Last month, my husband and kids surprised me with my very own HP Dv7 BeatsAudio laptop. They couldn't wait for the 25th, so they gave it to me a week or so early, in the cutest pink PUMA bag. (Bless their souls!) But anyone who knows me KNOWS that I refuse to spend more than a few hundred dollars on myself for ANYTHING, even if its something I need. Bo has been promising me a laptop since before my bday (July), but wasn't able to get me it. Instead, he got me a $300 Ipod touch and I REFUSED IT....told him to take it back, because, again, SO EXPENSIVE. I LOOOOVE having a computer again, but some things I am just not willing to pay the price for. I'm thinking about taking this bugga back because not only was it too much $ (I would've bought THE CHEAPEST one) it has also been giving me too many problems. First the webcam crashed/died and I had to take the computer back and switch it, only they gave me the wrong one and I had to go back a 2nd time for the right one. Just yesterday, the fingerprint scanner (a feature for password protection) also stopped working and so I'm seriously contemplating it. Aside from the very cool built in speakers (bass and all), I can survive without this. (That's what my droid is for). I could think of a lot of things I'd rather do with this money. Bills, (of course), my 12th wedding Anniversary is on Sunday, my baby's bday is in 2 weeks, RUGBY SEVENS is next month, including Ali Campbell (whom I saw in concert in Hawaii) that same weekend. The possibilities are endless. Heck, I could even take this back and invest in an Ipod touch again?

Tomorrow is a Gift

2012-01-05T11:19:00.012-10:00

"Every man must do two things alone; he must do his own believing and his own dying."- Martin Luther
-------------------------------------------------------
As a teen, I used to believe that I wouldn't live long. I don't know why, but I always felt like my life was not mine and that the length of my earthly stay was pre-determined to be short. Yet here I am. I STILL have moments when I don't even believe the things I go through are real and I feel strangely disconnected. Weird I know, but when I had my 1st born, I had a similar feeling that as much as I facilitated her birth into this world, I knew Lole was not completely mine. The underlying truth being that she was created--just as I was--by a loving Heavenly Father for His purposes; ranked highest among those, to gain Eternal Life and to live with Him again.

But with the gift of life also comes death. Last week one of my husband's young relatives who died in a car crash, was laid to rest. He was supposed to report to the MTC in 3 mos. Around New Years, a good friend of mine in Fiji lost her only son. And yesterday, my first cousin hung himself.

I've been thinking a lot about Death lately...how it comes quickly/surprisingly to some, and not soon enough to the weak/suffering...how it doesn't discriminate against age, race, color or status...and especially how whether you meet it calmly (sometimes willingly as in my cousin's case) or like a thief in the night, it is I N E V I T A B L E.

We are taught that suicide is wrong. But I do not judge such actions because I have been low enough to understand. While the act is selfish, the aim is to relieve pain...pain so unbearable that death is the only escape/relief/remedy...(seemingly) the only choice. Being able to say that I actually know someone (3 in the past year and a half) who has taken their life makes me really sad, but GOD has given us agency over every aspect of our lives, down to our last breath.

So what then, becomes of the dearly departed who felt they only had only one choice left? I don't think anyone can truly say, despite knowing that LDS doctrine condemns it. I still believe God has mercy on even our most grievous sins (save the unpardonable), so who am I to limit His forgiveness? The beauty of His plan through the Gospel of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is that we know there is life after death, and that families can be reunited in the afterlife through saving ordinances done in our temples. When someone dies, we focus on the way they lived, and we cherish the memories and life lessons we learned from them. Death will come whether or not we are ready, so the goal is to be ready all the time...to live like everyday was your last.

May you rest in peace, Sikivi, and may His mercy be upon you, and all of us.
XOXO,
Tala

OH MY GOODNESS

2011-12-09T12:25:00.000-10:00

Yes Spawnbreezie, OH MY GOODNESS is right...I'M BACKKKK!!! There is so much to catch up on, but for now all that is important is I finally am hooked up again, Blogger world!

Day 6: My Day

2010-11-14T22:09:00.002-10:00

Sunday: I HATE to leave my responsibilities at church to someone else (esp. on short notice) but when my husband asked if the kids and I would accompany him to town to meet with our car dealer, I couldn't resist. I knew that it was an opportunity to spend much needed time with him because of work and other marriage "strains." The day almost didn't happen because as soon as I had handed off my simple lesson plan, I couldnt find my purse. I was frantic and thinking, "That's what I get for ditching primary!" After 20 mins, I found it, and we were off. Two mins into the drive, a cop pulls Bo over for illegally over-taking a car that had cut us off. I repeated (in my mind) my earlier sentiment, but tried to remain calm. Luckily, Officer AhSue admitted to not seeing the cut-off, and let us go, expired tags and all. Ironically, that's where we were going in the first place...to the dealer to get our registration taken care of.

It turned out to be quite a day, starting with pork\chicken skewers and fresh corn from a roadside fruit stand, getting our tags current after almost a year, late lunch at Burger King, cruising up the Pali and around Makapu'u to Halona Blowhole (where Bo made walls 3 yrs ago), to Ross for a dress, and then McDs for ice cream sundaes and fried apple pies. It was quite an adventure and I will never forget:

-how my kids love getting dressed to go somewhere

-how my husband can talk his way out of a lot of things

-how good fresh, hot,sweet corn tastes from Kahuku and how Laila can eat 3 in one sitting

-how Bo makes me try and like new foods all the time (today, salmon poke)

-how Lole loooves Pizza Hut cinnamon sticks

-how after 20+ yrs in Hawaii, I finally went to the Nuuanu Pali Lookout, a first for my whole family

-how Lole really had take a crap and so Bo sat her on the edge of the trash can and asked the "curious" tourists if they had a staring problem

-how cold and windy it was, with the clouds moving about us

-how Laila ran all over the place, slipper-less, once we got to the blowhole

-how Lole likes to sing in the wind

-how fun it is to see new things and do things as a family, camera in hand

Looooong day, but totally worth it. FAMILY...it was about time!

Day 5: Definition of Love

2010-11-13T20:03:00.004-10:00

I once heard somewhere that people only do things for 2 reasons: out of love, or out of hate. In reality, that may not be so cut and dry, but it makes a whole lot of sense. Love is powerful! It is the driving force behind our everyday actions, our fuel for life. It motivates...it uplifts...it nurtures...it bonds...and it heals. It is action and reaction. It is everything that rage and envy and revenge and spite are NOT. For me, LOVE, and its every possible definition, changes right alonside my own experiences and desires. Where I once thought it meant never having to say you're sorry, I now believe that impossiblity warrants the feeling that it's more a matter of when and how. When and how you say sorry, is where the love factor comes in. Movies sometimes depict love as fine dining and rose petals on the bedroom floor, whereas my heart flutters when I hear my husband's work truck come home, and covered in cement, he proceeds to share his half empty slurpee with me. Lol. While the gesture in itself is cute, the knowledge that he has been up since 3:30 am, has driven nearly 100 miles today to bust his butt to provide a living for his family, and still has strength to play\read to the kids...now that right there is LOVE. So yah, I guess mine is the layman's version, but I think you get the picture. I try to remember this (paraphrased) quote if my days ever leave me in doubt. "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they've got." My definition could change, months, years, even decades from now. But today, it is this: LOVE IS WHAT YOU MAKE AND BELIEVE IT TO BE.

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Day 4: What I Ate Today

2010-11-12T23:59:00.000-10:00

I really am the worst eater...today has been no different. Here it goes:

9 am: Bkfst: French Bread w butter and jelly

2 Round Samoan Pancakes

230 pm-ish: Late Lunch: Frosted Flakes and "Ocean Salad" from my sister's house. The salad is just noodles, with taegu, seaweed, nori, and seasame oil. Totally tastes like it sounds. Good stuff!

7pm Dinner: 2 fresh corns (hubby bought a bag from the fruit stand on his way home because it's Laila's favorite), 2 crunchy tacos and a chicken burrito from Taco Bell.

10 pm-ish dessert: 1\2 pint of Ben & Jerry's Mud Pie (free w\ maika'i reward from Foodland)

(This I just added after my original post)

12:30 midnight: "Better-than-Sex cake" from Tina's dinner outing

Day 3: My Parents

2010-11-11T14:22:00.004-10:00

My parents probably wouldn't appreciate detailed information about them on my public blog, so I will keep it short. I love them and they love me...the same as they love all my sisters and our families too. What more is there to want? (Okay that was the lazy version...hopefully I can get back to this one later :))

Day 2: My First Love

2010-11-10T12:11:00.005-10:00

Nelson: My early memories of him were from the 6th grade, when my love for volleyball began. We were on the same elementary team together and he was already really good, in fact, our Laie school beat all the other schools in our district that year. Nelson was funny and cool at a young age, a trait that he kept throughout our years growing up. I want to say we even played on the same Intermediate team as well. But it wasn't until the ending of our Freshman year into the beginning of our Sophomore year that we became in "like". We were already good friends and shared a common interest in volleyball, music, and the same company. I don't even remember how we started "going out"--if that's what you can call it--because it was borderline puppy love. I have myself to blame\thank for that because I was young and foused on school, friends, and early years of high school sports. I just wasn't one of those girls who were eager to experience boys. All that was still foreign to me and I liked it that way. I think the proper word here is "dated" because I did meet him at the movies, we talked on the phone, and hung out a lot (most of the time with other friends). Still, I liked him enough to believe it was love. He was a perfect gentleman; handsome as he was kind. We took Soph Banquet pics together and NEVER, was he ever hurtful to me. We held hands once or twice, but I never kissed him. Once, we quickly brushed lips when he so sweetly presented me with a rose after one of my (away) basketball playoff games...a sentiment that I would never forget! We grew apart before our Junior year, but I dont exactly remember why. My thoughts are that we never got over the awkwardness of trying to be more than just friends in love. I am glad that what we had remains as pure now as it was then, because today, we are still friends and (yup, you guessed it) still occassionally play volleyball together.

Day 1: Introduce Yourself

2010-11-09T23:59:00.002-10:00

You can call me Darla. Okay, not really, but in case you're wondering, the "E-alias" came after a friend was teasing the way Tongan people call me TALA with a "D" instead of a "T"...like DAHLA (real ugly-like). Anyway, Darla is cuter so the blog name stuck.

"Matatala" is my real first name, which was requested by my paternal side. "Audrey" is the middle name my mother chose, after her uncle's palangi wife. "Poloai" is Dad's mom's last name which grandpa had to take because grandma's matai status trumped his. Finally, Malupo (the add-on for the last 10 yrs) is the name that connects my kids to Ha'apai, Tonga. All my life I thought my Samoan blood was pretty thick (undiluted, lol) but I recently discovered my mother's Tongan ancestry probably makes "Dahla" more suitable for me after all!

I was born in Happy Valley (Utah County) to wonderful, God-fearing parents, struggling to make a future for myself and their 3 other girls before me. Since I was the last planned child, I was SUPPOSED to be a boy. That's why I don't take offense to the knowledge that Dad cussed when Doc said "It's a Girl!"

18 years later, I ended up back in Happy Valley, after early childhood years in American Samoa, and some more memorable years in my beloved Laie. The ironic thing is that meeting my husband in the said Valley of Happiness, eventually brought me back to Laie, where we were wed in 2000. I cannot see that coincidence as anything less than a blessing, given my great love for the place I call home.

My two darling girls validate my life and have sweetened it since day one. I didn't cuss when either of them were born, but bringing them into the world wasn't easy. Both were conceived with the help of fertility pills and a whole lot of praying. Their very lives confirm my faith in the existence of a loving God.

My likes and dislikes vary year to year, but my love for watching and playing sports (though you can't tell by looking at my bod), will never change. I love to sweat, esp if it's gonna lead me to those jeans I still have from 2003, stashed in the corner for my big "Reveal" someday. Bahaha. I said SOMEDAY! As a kid, I loved reading, but now I struggle as an adult to even completely read prescription medication instructions, let alone a novel. That being said, my attention span as of late has been wrapped around some serious DVD watching and Facebook camping. If the written word is addicting then the written word *refreshed* hourly, or minute by minute, and at the speed of your fingertips is complete obsession. Yes, I admit, it's hard to walk away from Facebook, but not when you've got a Brad Pitt movie drawing you in closer to those piercing eyes and perfect bone structure. When I have time for music, it's usually Reggae\Island, HipHop\R&B or Country. I like 'em exactly in that order, though I probably should mention Church music since I'm a Primary chorister. Food is my weakness and not because I eat my feelings or anything...I think my problem is hormonal and genetic and environmental all rolled into one. Lucky for me, I live in Hawaii where food is good and so everyone has the SAME problem. Lol.

I didn't expect I'd write all-a-dis but it about sums me up. Ps: I like wearing tshirts and jeans, the color black, and anything teriyaki.

BLOG CHALLENGE (from NEENA LOVE)

2010-11-08T15:11:00.000-10:00

I love Blogging and I have missed it so much. I am in the same predicament as my last post--without internet--but I found this on one of my favorite blogs I just visited today. http://neenalove.blogspot.com/
I don't know yet how I'm going to keep up with the challenge, but I accept and will figure it out. In the meantime, hope you all are enjoying the cooler temperatures this time of year.

Warm Hugs.

For faithful bloggers... here's a challenge that will help you in topic selection.

I have probably talked about all the topics on here before but I'm sure there's more to be told, more to be purged from the recesses of my mind! I am going to start this on September 1st, 2010. I wonder -- are any of you up for the challenge?

Day 01 – Introduce yourself

Day 02 – Your first love

Day 03 – Your parents

Day 04 – What you ate today

Day 05 – Your definition of love

Day 06 – Your day

Day 07 – Your best friend

Day 08 – A moment

Day 09 – Your beliefs

Day 10 – What you wore today

Day 11 – Your siblings

Day 12 – What’s in your bag

Day 13 – This week

Day 14 – What you wore today

Day 15 – Your dreams

Day 16 – Your first kiss

Day 17 – Your favorite memory

Day 18 – Your favorite birthday

Day 19 – Something you regret

Day 20 – This month

Day 21 – Another moment

Day 22 – Something that upsets you

Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better

Day 24 – Something that makes you cry

Day 25 – A first

Day 26 – Your fears

Day 27 – Your favorite place

Day 28 – Something that you miss

Day 29 – Your aspirations

Day 30 – One last moment

Phone Blogging

2010-07-30T22:42:00.002-10:00

I recently switched phone carriers, and am now a Sprint customer and happy droid owner. Times like this when my internet is off I am grateful I still have the web at my fingertips...literally. Multitasking never was so easy. I'm still a little APP-shy but that's changing too...I just figured out how to read books on here and you KNOW I'm just all over the FB mobile feature!

Anyway, this Summer has been crazy busy and the fun will all end in (most likely) a big huge mess of a blog to wrap it all up. I'm soaking in as much as I can because its probably the most content summer I've had in a looooong time. Hope you all are enjoying yours as much as I have mine!

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d.e.d.

2010-06-22T23:27:00.000-10:00

i know...AGAIN, it's been a while...but not for long. i am anxious to get back on the ball and share my world, as uninteresting as it is. i can't remember where exactly the phrase "d.e.d." came from, but it's an inside joke turned popular phrase (yup, that's how we do in laie)...which means dead. my blog is not dead tho, i am just lazy. "l-a-z-e" bahhah...another insider. anyway, it's late, almost midnight and i'm gonna calling it a night (after some facebook games of course)... see you soon!

the worst few minutes of my life

2010-05-31T08:46:00.001-10:00

GOD always has a way of reminding me who's in control, and why i cannot give up the good fight. last night i was faced with the fear of losing my child when Laila had a seizure in the middle of her sleep.

mid afternoon, laila began to be feverish, and automatically i knew it was because she has 6 new teeth coming in. bo's parents urged us to take her to the hospital, but we assumed it was just a normal fever and that we could fight it with tylenol/motrin easily. she was sleepy most of the rest of the day and wanted nothing else but to nurse. i should've been tipped off when i saw her shaking a bit when she was wanting to go to sleep. she had not eaten since lunch and it was nearing 9pm when i saw it. but again, i didn't give it much thought because of her teething and i thought that she had felt better after the medicine and playing with me and her sisiter for a good hour. she fell asleep on her stomach and almost 45 mins later we heard her cry a bit...and then my husband screamed when he saw that she had stiffened up and he recognized that "look" she had in her face (his little sister constantly had seizures as a kid). by the time i turned around she was shaking in that stiff position, with her teeth clenched. as we tried to pry her mouth open and get our fingers in there to keep her tongue down and mouth open for air, her eyes were still open but not "there"...her body was still stiff as i held her tightly and pushed my fingers through her mouth. she chomped down so hard, but i didn't care if she bit my finger off, as long as i could keep the airway open and stop her from swallowing her tongue (i was in panic mode and had NO IDEA what to do. luckily bo had seen this so many times before as a kid, so i listened to him instruct me on how to handle her.) i screamed a lot. i yelled for his dad, i think it was because i wanted someone near who could give her a blessing. moments later, her teeth were still clamping on my fingers, but her face started to turn blue, and her eyes rolled back...even her body stopped shaking...it was the worst feeling in the world. i just kept yelling at her to get up and listen to mommy's voice. when i heard her moaning about 15 seconds later, i knew that she was still alive. her chomp loosened up but she wouldn't wake up...i feared the worst as i tried to look for signs as we drove to the hospital. and then the thought of going to the junkest hospital in the world just made me cringe even more, but since i wanted her to get attention ASAP, we had no choice.

what the doctors called a "fever seizure" is common they say, because sometimes it's not how hot a child gets, but how quickly their temp can jump, even just a few degrees.she was 100.4 when we got there but she was able to cry and opened her eyes there. after tests, they decided that she MAY or MAY NOT have a little pneumonia (yah, i don't get what "may or may not" means either)...she must've been closer to "may not" because they just sent us home with some antiboitics and more tylenol because her vitals were good and they couldn't find any reason to keep her. by the time we came home she was already feeling cooler. dad stopped at the store to get popsicles and juice and soup, and let me tell you i have never been so happy to see her eat...ever. she even talked to us, laughed and danced, and walked around until she fell asleep in her grandma's arms.

while waiting for laila's test results at the ER, my daughter lole and i had a moment. laila was sleeping in my arms and all the emotion caught up to me, especially the guilt every mother feels when anything happens to their child. i looked over and saw that it was the same for lole, the emotion had caught up to her too and she was holding back the tears until i called her name. we cried together. she was so sad. i told her i would say a prayer for her sister so that she would feel better and so that those around her could feel comfort that she would be ok. it was during this time that i realized all the drama from the day before--fighting with my husband because of his alcohol problem and not coming home from work until 8am the next day--is all so INSIGNIFICANT when compared to the bigger picture: the well-being and safety of my kids, my overall happiness as their mother, and our future together as a family.

as always, my mountains seem so small when compared to the love that can MOVE those mountains, the love of a heavenly father who continually shows me how to realign my priorities/feelings and to cherish my children like the true gifts that they are. while experiencing the worst few minutes of my life, heavenly father brought me to humility...to remembrance of who's in control...that my trials are teaching me to lay the burden where it belongs so i can focus on my children, my family, and the joy that can be attained.

sweet sweat

2010-05-20T11:32:00.003-10:00

i haven't made any time to exercise in so long that i had almost forgotten how much i love to sweat...at least when it comes to sports, and physical exercise. as a new fan of BIGGEST LOSER, i'm always so moved to change/improve my physical health...and then i wake up the next morning and forget about how inspired i was, until the next show. last night i was so stressed/irritated that i just needed to get out and sweat...so i ran.(well, mostly walk for now). it brought me back to a time when i was a teen and i heard my parents arguing. back then we lived on moana st--the haole side, lol--so i ran to byuh and around the big circle twice without stopping. that had never happened before even though i played high school sports. (always HATED running!) it was so therapeutic and it was the first time i ever realized the importance of physical exercise on the emotional state of mind.
last night during my hour of running/walking, i spoke to my heavenly father. in my mind and out loud, i went over my most important troubles, things that i could never bring myself to speak to another human ear. and then it hit me how much i had needed this outlet. when i walked, i talked/thought things over. and when i ran, i forgot about them to focus on my breathing...my body...my will. it is amazing how our physical and mental capacities have the power to influence each other. i hope i have found a new friend in running (exercise in general), because sweat is so sweet to me. it assures me that mind and body are working, not just for my heath, but also to better my soul.

MAY DAY

2010-05-11T14:22:00.002-10:00

Lole had her very first May Day this year on the 6th. Her preschool performs with Kahuku Elementary, so unlike Laie who had theirs @ PCC (my preferred venue), Kahuku had theirs at BYUH Canon Activities Center (nice only for the AC). The week leading up to May Day was pretty exciting, I mean if you live in Hawaii, namely the North Shore, you know that May Day is like no other. Rather than stick to the usual Polynesian cultures, our Kahuku/Laie schools typically choose a wide range of countries/themes to represent. For instance, my nephew's 3rd grade class did South Africa, 4th graders did Bollywood, and the 5th graders did a 80s Rock-n-Roll themed production, all of which were awesome!

Lole's classmates did AMERICA, and had little boys come in on 3 wheeled bikes like a biker gang. Then they walked on to the stage in a flag formation and did 3 different numbers.The boys did a short Born in the USA, then the girls followed by the girls' short Chippette version of Single Ladies, and then they all came together at the end with Miley Cyrus' Party in the USA. It was way cute and I was so bummed that my husband had to miss it for work, but the video coverage was enough to serve as a reminder that you just HAVE TO BE THERE next time.

My sister (pictured with her family) was in it too because she is a PTT (part time teacher) there, and helped the Kindergarten class with SAMOA, and then she participated in the faculty/staff Ho Down Throw Down number. I was so proud of Lole and her cousins, and even my sister for doing such a great job! It was definitely a "first" that I will never forget!

Tagiilima Togiai

2010-05-05T23:00:00.017-10:00

while watching tv this afternoon, my sis-in-law heard the faint sound of crying coming from somewhere downstairs. at first i thought i was hearing things, and then i just started running when i realized it was not crying, but wailing. the sounds got louder towards the side of the house, and sure enough, there under the ulu tree sat my aunty L (bo's mom's sister) who was on the phone. i was scared. i thought something had happened to her or her husband (who wasn't there), because what else could make a woman cry so painfully? even though I had NO idea what her reasons were just yet, my aunt's "oiaue's" were enough to break my heart into a million pieces. she could barely get out a sentence, when asked what was wrong, and as i hugged her close, she screamed something in tongan, and then it became clear when she uttered the word "mate" (die/dead)...and then her granddaughter's name, "Tagi."

this is the story and the video coverage of what happened to our dear niece, our aunty's granddaughter.

aunty L and her husband T bloomfield have been living with us since '08 because they love it here, but their real home is in west valley, utah, where their granddaughter died today. my heart grieves for all the family members, even tagi's great-grandmother (aunty L's mom), who was left to care for the children when this tragedy occurred. i cried a lot for aunty L, for the sorrow in her face, and the pain in her voice...how every so often she would just break down in rounds of "oiaue". i cried thinking about the pain all adult parties have, because we are a people of conscience, and when things like this happen to children, there is always a burden of guilt...of "what if?" but mostly, i cried for tagi. i know she is in a better place now, but how alone and scared tagi must have been...oh, it is unbearable to think about what she suffered in her last moments.

lole played with tagi 2 summers ago when they visited from utah. they were around the same age. tagi was quiet, but unafraid. she rarely cried. she is survived by her tongan mother, elesi (elsie) bloomfield and her samoan father, junior togiai and her 4 other siblings. she is one of (just about) 40 of aunty L's grandchildren. she will be sorely missed, and my prayer is that all of tagi's family may be comforted by the Savior's healing power and the love of our Heavenly Father.

rest in peace baby girl. xxx

view her obituary here.

COUNTRY MERCANTILE TRUFFLE GIVEAWAY

2010-04-23T20:14:00.002-10:00

ok, i've been away for a while...and it feels good to be back. so, first thing to catch up on is: CHOCOLATE! found this on shanae's blog, and i totally wanna win!!! check it out here.

WISH ME LUCK!

Preschool Photo

2010-03-25T11:46:00.001-10:00

Yesterday we got Lole's preschool pictures, taken by one of her teachers, Aunty Jojo.

Isn't this the cutest? Never in my life did I EVER have a school flick as nice as this.
Times are changing I tell ya.

Musn't forget the classic CLASS PICTURE:

Atop a Mountain in Manoa 3/7/10

2010-03-23T11:38:00.000-10:00

A few weeks ago we attended a birthday party @ the TREETOP RESTAURANT in Manoa. It was quite a drive, but once up there, the scenery was beautiful because we were surrounded by a variety of trees and greenery. The air was so clean and aside from the noise of the birthday party, it was so peaceful. The restaurant was pretty old—and thankfully going through some renovations—but it was breathtaking to be so far from my familiar ocean, and yet still feel the serenity that comes from living in the lushness of Hawaii.

Keanu, the birthday boy, is the son of one of Bo’s co-workers, and when we first arrived he was dressed in traditional Korean attire (as his father is half Korean). There was a display of candies and dumplings made especially for traditional Korean 1^st birthdays. The candy display was beautiful but it was not for eating, and the dumplings were similar to mochi, only more bland. My Laila couldn’t get enough of the Korean pears though!

The restaurant food was awesome. I can’t even remember what was all there besides the ono ribs and fish. My kids had a blast making balloon toys galore, and eating cotton candy, and shave ice, and enjoying the magician show. The icing at the top for me was literally the icing from the yummy red velvet bday cake they served. It was soooo good and I took a big plate home with me. Seriously, to die for!

Oh, and there was also a photographer at the party, taking family photos on the balcony. What's great about this picture is that the backdrop isn't a canvas...it's the real thing.

Ali Campbell Concert 3.21

2010-03-22T22:17:00.002-10:00

Former UB40 lead singer Ali Campbell graced us with his presence at a concert last night at Aloha Tower in Honolulu. Opening for him were Manao Co., Siaosi, and NZ's Three Houses Down. Island sensation "Fiji" was supposed to perform too but didn't....and with no explanation might I add...how's that? I shoulda got a partial refund because tickets were $35 a piece. Plus, Bo invited a couple who didn't pay for theirs, so we ended up losing money on that...(I could've went to my nieces Tahitian competition the day before with that money...GRRR~!)

Anyway, aside from the concert being on Sunday, so far away, expensive, and crowded with people, majority of them drunk, Ali Campbell more than made up for it. We got there when Siaosi was singing his last number (bummer) and then 3HD performed just before Ali. Hearing all the UB40 songs we grew up with was classic, even if I had to stand/dance for hours in heels. After the concert we were gonna kick it with Siaosi at the hotel 3HD was staying at, but it was already 3 am and Bo needed to go home and catch at least an hour or 2 of sleep for work.. Always a next time, I say.

Cruise Day

2010-03-19T23:23:00.006-10:00

It's the last day of Spring Break before the weekend rings in. We started the day by taking my father in law to his doc appt in Kailua, and then were pleasantly surprised when Bo called to say they had to stop work and was gonna meet us there. So, in essence, a day of chauffeuring around the in-laws (who knows where) turned into a day with Daddy (which we always love!)

Daddy always makes the girls' day...I mean, look at those smiling faces!!!

The downside is that he has to work tomorrow (Saturday), so we only had today to really do anything as a family. We ate a huge lunch at KFC and then headed to the mall to change our oil. We ran into the my friend Harmony and her family, who just arrived from Utah for her brother-in-law's homecoming. (Lucky Delta-weekend-travelers!) Lole and I found some nice pink shoes from Pay-less, which I was able to get a 20% discount on through those sales texts they send out. She actually slept with the shoes on her pillow tonight!

While we waited for the oil change, Lole, Tina and Bo played games while I went looking for movie snacks *heavy fat sigh* We watched "Our Family Wedding" which I heard great reviews via FB. Personally, I thought it was junk. There were a few funny parts, but the acting from ALL characters left me feeling robbed of real entertainment. Anyway, that was pretty much our day. We came home, did a little grocery shopping, ate an early dinner and now I am thinking about making a Caramel Frappe run since our Laie McDs FINALLY has 'em.

Days like this that are so CRUISE and everything seems to go smoothly are typically followed by days that do the exact opposite. I am hoping tomorrow will not be chaotic, full of drama, or the like, because every time I get comfy, something happens to shake everything up again. Tonight I re-watched (and was glued to) Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" on TV. So many wonderful messages, quotes, and one-liners if you will, were SCREAMING to me. It's kind of sad how much I can relate to a variety of broken hearts portrayed in the movie. I'll have to dedicate a post to my favorite movie quotes alone, because I'm just too tired right now. I have a feeling I'm gonna need my energy...soon.

On Seta...pushing 40.

2010-03-18T23:52:00.007-10:00

(She's gonna kill me for that title!) haha!

Today, my oldest sister (she's the one in the middle, pictured here with 3 of her 5 girls) turned *ahem* 37. Yes, 37!! Ugh, that means I am soon to turn 32 and NOT looking forward to it! Anyway, she is the first of the 4 girls in our family, and she is currently expecting baby #8 (a boy to join 2 older brothers). I really don't know how she does it. When I was on *insert another AHEM here* "vacation" towards the end of last year, I stayed with her family of 9. Immediately I was humbled at the amount of work it takes to raise 7 children, esp with the 4 youngest ones so close in age. I only have 2 children and I don't have half the energy it takes to care for them with the consistency she does. I learned a lot from her about patience and the divine role of mother. Despite all the chaos that having a large family can bring, my sister never loses her cool, never complains, still has time to serve others, and most definitely never asks for "me" time. It just seemed like motherhood was her thing and it made me feel like it was NOT mine, because I do such a horrible job in comparison. Even with the demands that her children, her husband, and her church calling has on her, she still took the time to care for the needs of mine and my children. I never missed home when I was in hers, and Lole just had the time of her life being around all her cousins everyday. I miss her dearly but I am grateful we can still talk on the phone. She is always there for me when I need her. I love you sis! HAPPY BIRTHDAY...and MUCH MUCH MORE!

I "borrowed" this picture from her FB, because obviuosly, I wasn't there.

St. Patrick's Day

2010-03-17T20:46:00.003-10:00

I remembered nothing about the history of this day, except it had something to do with an Irishman, shamrocks, and the color green. I also envision a leprechaun and a pot of gold, but maybe that's just because the Lucky Charms guy is Irish. So, that morning we all wore green to a little get together @ Steph J's LOVELY home for some painting, playtime, snacks, and good company. Not that it's a bad thing, but I was the only polynesian lady there. Lol! That hasn't happened since my days in the Laie 2nd "Haole Ward" living amongst all the BYUH faculty kids on Moana st. The girls had fun running wild on the wonderfully green grass, jumping on the trampoline and soaking up some much needed sun. Spring Break thus far has been a bit of a drag with all this windy, rainy, beach UNfriendly weather so it was nice to get out, even just for a little while.

I turned around from where I was sitting to find Lole chillin' out on the bench eating that popcorn off the grass with about 4 or 5 other girls. It was so cute, but so wrong. The girl in the tutu is photographer Mark Lee's daughter, who Lole went to Na Kamalei preschool with 2 years ago.

And here's Laila's sign of approval...or maybe she's just eating a grape. Either way, still no HAIR! AHHHH!

THE BIG 5

2010-03-16T09:37:00.006-10:00

Yup, my candy girl turned 5!! Geesh! Lole has been anxiously waiting to turn 5 since Laila turned 1 in January. She's also been asking for a party since her sister's, but we're gonna have to wait on that for a little while. The Friday before her birthday, we took red velvet/funfetti cupcakes (thanks Fia) and ice cream for her preschool class and sang "Happy Birthday" there. The next day we hit up a birthday party in town and completely forgot to get Lole's gifts on our way home...so like true procrastinators, we had to buy her b-day things from Foodland. (Fired, I know!) Sunday morning, she woke up to balloons, a few toys, her favorite reeses candies, a dress for church, and a pillow-blanket she's been asking for. For me it was hard to really get into the spirit of her bday since it was Sunday and I usually wait until Sunday to get my things ready for primary. Daddy brought her Sunday school class some yummy yellow cupcakes with princess rings on top and we ate her favorite Dominoes pizza after church. (She originally wanted L&L's but it was closed, so pizza was the next best thing.) Later that night we sang "Happy Birthday" again and celebrated with some more ice cream and rainbow cake and cupcakes. Aunties Tati and Mei made her a special Activity/coloring book for church, which she loves. And she later received an outfit and more candy from her cousins in Utah, and then her favorite cousin Juju brought her a princess crown, a wand, birthday sash, Princess and the frog outfit and journal, cute little hair extensions, and a new pen. I know she still wants a birthday party, so stay tuned to find out if we can make her wish come true.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!

where did february go?

2010-03-06T03:24:00.007-10:00

2/5 i went on another of lole's field trips to DOLE PLANTATION, a place i've never been in all my 20+ years here. the weather has been windy and cold lately, and it all started this day. we went on a cute little train ride, sampled pineapple, and went through the world's largest maze. the pineapple was scrumptious! did you know that a light rinsing before eating helps take away that acidic taste? i don't know how i never knew that! anyway, the maze was aMAZE-ing and it helped so much that it was overcast and windy instead of hot and bothery. yah, "bothery". haha! me and my niece jaz got through half of the mazes, but we couldn't finish the rest because we only had an hour in there. we all had a blast.

2/8 i fell in love with laie chop suey after this day. i have never been as big a fan as i am now because bo has a way of making me LOOVE foods that i usually don't. now, i will do cartwheels for their honey walnut shrimp and our must have roast duck, s&s pork, and hot buns. sometimes we'll order like 5 entrees just for the four of us (me bo and the kids) but we make sure to eat errrrrrrrryfing!

2/12 valentines day has never really been celebrated much in our home (something i hope to remedy in the future), so i'm glad that at least lole got to celebrate at school that friday. they had a special party, a jumper, treats and vday activities from their teachers and exchanged goodies with her friends. i don't know about you guys, but this day is way cooler now then when i was a kid. on the real vday, lole came home after church and mentioned what a great day she had. then she reached up to the sky and said "happy valentiMes day Jesus!"

2/15 a family friend invited us to come and watch EDDIE GRIFFIN live @ the waikiki shell. i thought it would be nice since i've never been to a comedy show aside from the local acts like augie t. plus, i sort of enjoyed eddie's first season of "Going for Broke". on the day of, we ran into our good friends (who are more like sisters) and bo thought to invite them so we could all cruise town. secretly i thought it was a bad idea, considering i wasn't sure what it would be like. we took his little sister with us too and that was another mistake because eddie's opening material ended up being just what i had feared...too explicit for 2 returned missionaries and 1 preparing to be one. the girls walked out and cruised waikiki instead. it was embarassing and bo and i should've left too, but stayed out of courtesy to our friends that invited us. aside from the nasty stuff, he was actually pretty dang funny.

2/27 bo and i planned weeks ahead to make it out to ROOTS ROCKAZ in haleiwa to support our laie peeps. details withheld, bo and i had a fight, and after a plethora (yes, plethora) of swear words, i took my husband with me anyway, and forgave him anyway, although not right away. i was still very angry at the club, UNTIL my cousin johnny sang the first lines of beres hammond's "they gonna talk". ♫ some things were meant to be, so why not let it be...and stop worryin' about it ♫ thanks to roots rockaz soothing reggae music, i built my bridge and GOT OVER IT.

2/28 so the night of the roots rockaz performance, we got news (while dancing) that there was a TSUNAMI alert and that it was to arrive around 11 the next morning. by the time we got home around 4am, the gas line was hella long and people were already waiting outside of foodland to buy supplies. i came home and packed my family's necessities and went to sleep. as soon as our things were in the car the next morning, we drove around looking for higher ground. rather than go to the very crowded mauka chapel, temple grounds, kahuku elem, and gunstock ranch, we went up kahuku farm roads to what seemed like the highest hill ever. i slept atop that rocky mountain, after watching the waters proved uneventful. still, i'm grateful that our tsunami ended up being a few meters (or maybe it was centimeters)...whatever the case, thank you God!

there's nothing like the threat of a natural disaster to make you stop complaining about your life, because in an instant everything that matters most to you could be taken away. february came and went as quickly as the tsunami threat did, but they both stayed long enough to remind me that life is too short to not constantly give, feel, and be loved.

l&l moments

2010-02-26T00:15:00.003-10:00

when my kids are sound asleep i miss moments like THIS...when they can't get enough of me and i can't get enough of them!

laila,

as you can see is very unintersted in taking pictures...she is currently walking EVERYWHERE... exploring EVERYTHING. although I miss her baby-"ness" it's SOOO fun to watch her reaction to new things and just watching her PLAY. she's got quite a bit of a shy-bug, so much that sometimes we can't even tell she's there...but get in her way and she will let it be known. (plus, we bought her these squeaky shoes for her bday so we never lose her!) she points to her nose, calls for her daddy, loves to be read to, and walks straight to the bathroom whenever i say "shower". she's fallen on her head so much, it's reassuring when i realize she's smarter than i think. she's so smart she figured out how to make grandpa buy us a new toilet by throwing a toy acorn in there. good lookin out baby! i can't be gone from her too long cause i miss her right away. i love my little partner!

lole,

as you might tell has been posing for the camera since day one. she is currently learning to READ and LOOVES to play. when she's not playing, she is just writing and drawing. gone are the days when we would camp on disney channel all..day...long! thank goodness! i find her singing all the time, not just songs from school, church, or the radio, but MADE-UP ones too. her voice has much potential! she likes to have fun, has tons of friends yet she has no problem telling people what to do...in a good way. her teacher described her as the "peacemaker"...sort of the mother of the whole bunch. (must've been all that training she got from home). but she is smart and keen on all of my emotions so i need to be a little more careful about what i say to her. i love her so much...if anyone can put me in check, IT'S HER!

tonight while lole was sleeping, laila kept trying to wake her up, and when she finally succeeded...they laid cheek to cheek and gave each other a big hug!

Laila's 1st Bday Party

2010-01-30T16:09:00.013-10:00

I had a week and a half to put together a party for Laila (that wasn't supposed to happen but did). The night before her birthday party was her real birthday and so amidst all the chaos of preparing the chapel, decorations, and food, we had to make an ER run because she fell off the bed headfirst. That was a scare, and we were irritated that she had a big lump on her forehead come party time, but at least she was ok. We threw her a cupcake themed party, infusing the colors pink and blue, inspired by this picture by our photographer friend, Stephanie J.

The week of her party, Bo was off island, so I spent restless nights conceptualizing and finalizing what I wanted, including this invite that took me forever to get right. Tissue pompoms were a BIZNATCH to make too, but I was trying to see if I could decorate WITHOUT the use of balloons. Luckily we had the help of some young (and skinny) family friends who helped get fish line across the chapel hall so we could hang the different colored pompoms. Our round tables were covered in different shades of blue and pink and the centerpieces were colored pink and blue plates taped to plastic margarita glasses that were flipped upside down to look like a single cupcake stand. It was way cute. Each plate was filled with an assortment of cupcakes topped with mostly homemade frostings. We had over 400 chocolate, yellow, rainbow, red velvet, and guava cupcakes (thanks to my friends for baking help), a BIG strawberry cupcake for her birthday candle, and a full pre-sliced sheet cake. The food: Fried chicken, Lu pulu, Sweet potato, rice, potato salad, teriyaki meatballs, egg fu yung, chop suey, raw fish, fai kakai, otai, and fruit salad and later, homemade cheesecake and my cousin Sina's yummy mini cupcakes.

We reserved the primary room for the kids and filled it with huge balloons and a face painter. Instead of goody bags I had my sister bake reeses peanut butter topped brownies and her kids stuffed them in treat bags with thank you labels. Those were fun! My father-in-law also hired a one-man band but he was eating most of the time, and a dj that wasn't actively dj-ing, mostly playing a playlist. Lol. Next time I'll just play cds. It was cute and fun and even though I barely slept for a week and a half, it was worth it.

Her bday attire, before she snatched that Tongan lei off

Laila blowing out her candle on her big cupcake

I didn't let her attack her big cupcake, instead she ate a little one

Big sister's face design

Can you see her head bump? Lol.

almost there, baby

2010-01-26T13:06:00.011-10:00

hard to believe that almost a year ago, i looked like this. the flicc was taken 11 days before i gave birth, moments after i arrived home from a night out for dinner and manicure with the girls. toting Laila around in my belly was the best, save all the extra stuff (heartburn, bloating, etc). she was heavy but i felt strong, physically. i loved every rad kicking movement and every somersault. ironically, i went through a myriad of negative emotions while carrying her too and that was not fun. mostly, it had nothing to do with the baby blues. thank heavens she survived all of that unnecessary stress because i don't know where i would be without her at this point in my life.

now as the days inch closer to her 1st birthday i feel so overwhelmed with gratitude. how this wretched soul of mine could've gotten so lucky, goes beyond my understanding. not a day has gone without her right by my side. when she's hungry, it's me, when she's tired, it's me, when she's hurt, it's me....only me...who can comfort her. even when she's happy she turns to me, to reciprocate her smiles. i've never felt so needed by another human being and it's humbling to know God loved me soooo much...that He sent her at a time when i needed her more. thank you for braving it with me, baby. it's been almost a year...

again

2010-01-24T08:31:00.003-10:00

i've been here before. slept with a broken heart, barely. maybe not so much broken (because you can't break this heart any more than it already has), but in AWE...wondering awe, how someone could be so cold, so inconsiderate, so thoughtless, so heartless. i despise (to my soul) the fact that i stay married to an alcoholic; that i sit here helpless and hanging on to someone that doesn't want to be held on to. someone who when he doesn't come home at night, doesn't answer your calls, leaves you to your thoughts about where the hell he could be and what the hell he could be doing, and then downplays his action to make you feel like you shouldn't chastise him because he is working so hard for your family, and promises never to do it again...promises never to let you sleep with a broken heart again, and does. this feels so....the last four years. it leaves the most bitter taste in your mouth, when you know you did nothing to deserve it. when you've given a million and more chances to him to make it right, and you've tried to forgive as God asks, and you've gone against your better judgment and advice from those closest to you, to try one more time.

for my friend

2010-01-21T23:33:00.000-10:00

today, one of my best friends celebrated his 32nd year of life. (wow, doesn't seem that old until you write it down.) what can i say about maafu, besides that "he's sooo funny" (insider). over the years, our friendship has grown to accommodate the real life drama/lessons/experiences that comes with adulthood. unfairly, but not on purpose, i have often used him as my crutch through the shitty and the sad because he always managed to pick my spirits up. (sorry) but when you have someone in your life that you've known since you were 9, who played pepper with you in high school, who wrote to you from 3 different states on his mission, who told you when your boyfriend cheated on you, who planned your baby shower, who answers your phone call at 3 in the morning, who scolds you when you're an adult, who you can sit around doing nothing and still have the time of your life with, who counsels you for your children's sake, who KNOWS you unlike anybody else, and is still your friend when you hurt them...you just never want to lose someone like that. i can say so much more but maafu has so many other faces besides his funny one, my favorite being the one who gives selflessly and compassionately without care for anything in return. so even though it's his birthday, i want to say what a gift he has been in my life. since the 5th grade he has made me laugh. i guess that's a gift you just don't lose, ever! thank you maafu for your friendship, may you have many more years to share your gift with others like me.

weekend whirl

2010-01-18T08:45:00.005-10:00

monday already? happy holiday everyone (thanks to MLK, my daughter and hubby can sleep in)! here is my weekend in review:

friday (MLK's real bday)

our anniversary day started off with a trip to town for some shopping, after taking lole to school. I woke up to these:

and grubbed on the best breakfast for your buck from Mitsu-ken's in Kalihi:

and later went to watch da man:

and ate hella dry ribs (never again) @ Chillis, but this was gone in a matter of seconds:

we were so to' up by the end of the day (more than usual, at least):

saturday

ate taco bell for breakfast (i know, who does that?), went to the farm, and then to town again to return the rental and my $150 cell phone that i didn't need. that afternoon me and the kids went to ricky's reception @ byuh. omg, the food was ono: palusami, chicken, ham, noodles, sapasui, kalo, potato salad, opihi and poke, trifle for days, cakes, cakes and pulingi. mmm mmm, the beauty of polynesian weddings! entertainment was nice. there was a halau that performed, maliana galeai's kids, terina them, even a special number by ricky's dad (brought his karaoke mic and everything). i wish i recorded the number from the campbell whanau (and allll the maoris) cause they were the bomb! shucks. anyway, here are some clips of the night:

sunday

once again, i waited till right before church to prepare for singing time (it's only my 3rd week as the new primary chorister, 4 counting the sunday they called me and put me straight to work...eek!) so like the previous sundays, i ended up winging it quite a bit. the primary children are so awesome, and i have THE BEST pianist, sis. faleolo. the jr primary learned the 2nd verse of i know that my Savior love's me by coming up with motions to remember the words per class. for the most part they're catching on. then we did a song using the symbols fast, slow, hum, loud, etc...unfortunately i did it to a song they didn't know by heart, so it was kinda blah. the sr. primary did great. (i always do different things for the jr/sr primary because of age.) i split them up into groups again and they unscrambled 2 lines each from the 2nd verse of our new song. then i asked them to choose a song that best relates to their line and then either sing it in front of the class (thereby qualifying them for a special treat next week) or have the rest of the class sing it (no treat). ALL of the groups got up and sang their song, so i need to think of something to reward them with. i didn't say the treat would be edible, so we'll see.

mom made lusipi and kumala after church and then our little family ended the night with dinner @ the fullmer brother's home on the point (bo's high school friends from utah). they were such awesome company--total of 11 kids between the 2 bros and their sis emily--and we are looking to get together a lot more often.

DECADE

2010-01-15T23:50:00.073-10:00

Not long after we met, I knew I wanted him. He was different, in a bad-boy, bad-for-me kind of way, but I liked it, and I was determined to make it right. With him, it was always an adventure; I felt carefree, yet oddly protected by his aggression. He lived dangerously cool and uninhibited, while I was soooo the opposite. He was the lion, I was the lamb and we were young, but inseparable. I still recall the first time he told me he loved me with the deepest sincerity, and I believed. Months later he informally asked me to marry him, and on Jan. 15, 2000, we did.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

That was ten years ago. Like most marriages, ours has never once been perfect, or total and complete bliss, but it has been a journey. I would venture to say it's been a very SCENIC journey, and an even better one now with the addition of our two sweethearts. We are alike in our differences. We are opposites that still attract. We are 2, but 1. We survived an entire decade filled with joy and pain, and continue to TRY to uphold/forgive each other, so we can persist...w/ God's help. I know that I am in the right place today, if my heart still flutters when I hear the phone ring and see his name, or if I can still laugh hysterically at his silliness/stupidity, or if I still feel incomplete in my own home without him near, or if when he says I LOVE YOU, I still believe.

my day

2010-01-14T23:37:00.000-10:00

today, I

woke up swearing

did taebo via youtube

saw laila do a new trick (holding liquid in her mouth and slowly spewing it out x 20)

cleaned up my room

watched the kids mess up my room

overheard someone say Tiger is the man

drove way too fast

listened to myself sing, and hated it

slapped my husband's face

ate chicken burritos from Taco Bell

laughed watching Tyler Perry

cried looking @ funeral pics

spoke to Twitter

looked forward to tomorrow

this is the "put a check next to get off your butt" post

2010-01-14T12:47:00.002-10:00

i have my tennis shoes on. fit tv is playing an "all star workout" and the instructor is yelling at me to "kick, two, three, jump, two three..."and YET i'm still SITTING here on the computer reading other blogs....haha. i'm done with the more important things on my to-do list and it's only 12pm (yay me), but that's only because i don't have much on my list. so...i'm staring @ the empty spot next to exercise...
instructor: "lift that knee, four more...three more..."

GOTTA GO

Gray skies

2010-01-13T16:50:00.000-10:00

Literally. It's been cloudy/overcast all day, much like my mood. Feel so sluggish. I didn't even write a To-Do list. Today sucked. Right now, I need some of this...

And a lot of this wouldn't hurt either...

T-I-M-E

2010-01-12T16:41:00.005-10:00

"...The fact that you feel love for your children does not guarantee that they feel loved. They need to constantly hear you tell them 'I love you' and see your love demonstrated in the small details of life. Give your child the best gift of all--yourself. That's what they really want and need." -J.Lubbock

I love my children, period. But sometimes I am so preoccupied with other things that I very often find myself feeling "inconvenienced" by being at their disposal. (Yah, I know, that's what moms are supposed to do!) I was going through a book called, "To A Child, Love is Spelled T-I-M-E" while both my kids were napping just now, and I am reassured that I am a pretty sucky mom. Sorry my babies, mommy is such a rookie. So hopefully from now on, the house will be a little messier, laundry may pile up (even higher), dinner might be saimin or cereal, but as long as those things are ignored to spend time with you, I can live with it. *Oh, and less FB and other waste time sites for sure!

Don't put your children off, even if you're tired.

Don't squelch the moment, even if it's inconvenient.

Nothing is more powerful than showing your love at the point of a felt need.

Tomorrow they may not be asking for you.

Life goes on, but children never stay the same.

(found this quote in the same book, author unknown)

Backtracking: Christmas

2010-01-12T13:46:00.004-10:00

Just so I can remind myself NOT to be like this in 2010, I was a complete SCROOGE this past Christmas. I tried to get into the mood; I went to 2 ward parties, put up the tree and all of Lole's cute decorations from school, but when you don't have it in you, YOU JUST DON'T. It doesn't help that my husband didn't grow up with any holiday traditions, but I guess that shouldn't be an excuse for me not to make any for my own. Aside from the tree in the corner, you probably wouldn't even KNOW it was Christmas in our house, but I did muster a store bought graham cracker house (what is the story behind gingerbread houses anyway?) and Eve PJ's.

Lole was great this year. She now knows that Christmas is Jesus' birthday (and learned about Mary and Joseph) and when asked what she wanted to give to Him, she said "Transformers." Even though I was such a grump, I was glad that she got excited everyday we got closer to Christmas morning. All she wanted was "pretend make-up" which her favorite cousin got for her, and a barbie (which I have seen her play with only once).

It was so funny to watch Laila's reaction to the Christmas tree. First, she refused to crawl anywhere near it and would scold it from afar. Then, after getting used to the tree she wouldn't stop taking the ornaments off. By Christmas day, the whole bottom of the tree was bare.

Maybe it was our budget, maybe it was the horrible year we had...either way I know I need to do way better for my kids. And by that, I don't mean materially. I mean more tradition, more meaningful gifts, more desired company, more of the spirit of Christmas. Thank goodness redemption is a gift, because I can't wait for a lot better "next time".

Renewal

2010-01-10T23:34:00.001-10:00

It's ten days into 2010, and right away, I realize that I am still doing a lot of the same things I was doing in '09 that got me and my family nowhere, ie. web-surfing, not playing with my kids, wasting time and energy being angry, eating too much while exercising very little (mostly not at all), and forgetting to pray. Of course these are just the few at the top of my list, but I am ready to make amends and forgive myself for my past imperfections (even apologize in advance), because I refuse to let 2010 cripple me like '09 did. I am excited for forward movement--even just an inch at a time--because I have finally learned through experience that "in order to get what you've never had, you have to do what you've never done."

Tomorrow, a To-Do list is in order (a big task for me considering I don't DO lists and am a HORRIBLE planner), and the beginning of my goal-writing for the year. RENEW.REPLENISH.REJUVENATE.REPAIR.REVIVE...YOU. Best wishes for us all in 2010.

Eternal Rest

2010-01-07T11:07:00.006-10:00

I don't personally know Natalie Norton, but I prayed for her. I don't know what it's like to watch your little one suffer as much as she did hers, but I can imagine there is no greater pain. I followed her blog in the recent days as she invoked the prayers of loved ones and strangers alike on behalf of her infant son, Gavin, named after her late (younger) brother. Even in her time of struggle, she has remained faithful and is continuing to give honor and praise to God. One of her tweets while in the hospital said: "Best thing you can do for me? hug your kiddos a little tighter , speak to them a little softer & spend some time just being silly together." How can I refuse? So, Natalie, today when I hug my kids tighter, and speak to them softer, and be sillier together with them, I'll remember you and your son and echo your testimony of gratitude for our Savior. Rest in Peace, Sweet Little Baby Gavin!

*photo by her husband Richie Norton

Back to Love

2010-01-06T13:25:00.010-10:00

It's 2:00 pm, and I feel like a kid again, waiting for the ice cream truck to come by on a hot summer day. I haven't been this excited to see my husband--whom I am picking up from the airport soon--in a long time. For the past month and a half he's been working on another island and home only on the weekends. Some weeks have been longer than others with just me and the kids, but I've managed to hold it together pretty well...and by that I mean EMOTIONALLY. It's not that I don't LOVE my husband, it's just been really hard to LIKE him, and even feel IN LOVE with him, over this last year (which has to be one of the worst if not THE WORST in our history). Two months ago, I packed up my kids and I in a matter of hours, and left to find some peace...a peace that I found in the company of my family and dear friends, and in, of all places, HAPPY VALLEY, UT! LOL. But it wasn't so much the zip code that mattered, it was my heart and my soul--left broken and hopeless--that needed to be healed. I never prayed so much in my life. I let Heavenly Father give me strength I NEVER EVER had, and through constant communication with Him, I knew everything was going to be o.k. Till this day, it is hard to put to words the transformation I went through those few weeks I was away. I still feel that strength in me now, and God-willing, I will never go to THAT (lonely.desolate.hurtful.hateful.spiteful.) PLACE again.

I'm not naïve...I know that my my marriage is way off the path to happiness, in fact, we haven't even begun to walk, but like that song goes

♫ We'll crawl, 'til we can walk around
And we'll run, until we're strong enough to jump
Then we'll fly, until there is no end
So let's crawl, crawl, crawl
Back to Love ♫

With the New Year bringing hope of resolution and renewal, I look forward to forgetting the past so we can go THERE again, back to love.

Keep it simple

2010-01-06T03:19:00.003-10:00

In my attempt to stay away from Facebook, I've decided to blog more often. All the columns I had on here were so distracting (much like FB) so I cleaned house a bit...hence, the "minimal effort" look. It's so plain up in here, but I still haven't found a good one to replace the old...for now, I'm just gonna keep it simple. (Something I am taking a liking to lately!)

MERRY GRISTMAS

2010-01-04T05:15:00.002-10:00

Okay so it's 5 in the morning, I'm fully awake because I took my husband to the airport again. I found this and thought it was a great blog-quickie. Hope you all had a wonderful Holiday Season.

We moved...again

2009-12-09T23:26:00.003-10:00

Just down the street, but still a pain. I feel like I am unpacking everyday and cleaning and rearranging constantly. Yesterday and today it was paint, and just in one room...tomorrow, who knows. I'm tired. I started my own personal journal again, so I am writing less about intriguing things, and more about my boring life, so it's nice to come back to "Darla" and drop a line. The cable guy finally came today (he was originally going to come on the 18th) and it is nice to plug back into the "world." I didn't miss it much though...I don't miss a lot of things lately. I have too much crap to do to miss anything (except my meals of course) so I can't wait until we are finally settled. Ugh, tired. Goodnite.

NEW MOON

2009-11-23T17:09:00.005-10:00

So, while I was in Utah recently, I finally watched TWILIGHT and to my surprise, I didn't HATE it. I probably would have if I'd seen it last year when it first came out and I'd read the books already, but I waited to watch it right before NEW MOON came out, since I heard terrible things about TWILIGHT.

What can I say, but I LOVED NEW MOON. I didn't do the midnight showing, but I saw the very next one @ 11am in Laie. (Lucky thing we bought tickets the night before because it was Furlough Friday and all the teens were there.) I was so excited to see it since the reviews from the midnight showing all said positive things. I know that Kristen Stewart is not the best Bella, but I soo love her "look" for the part. Her acting and Robert Pattinson's (Edward) face leave something to be desired, but I don't care, because Taylor Lautner played a greeeeeeeeat Jacob. (Yeeeeow, almost made me switch teams!) I felt like a teeniebopper watching this movie, loving everytime I saw a brown, bare naked, muscular, body, LOL! I can't wait for the next one, only 200 something days away. I really hope that the entire cast sticks around for Eclipse and Breaking Dawn, I thought they were all good, esp. Charlie and the entire Cullen family, even down to Bella's high school crowd. I just might re-read the entire series again during the Christmas break. In the meantime, I'm going back to watch New Moon again with the girls, 'cause Bo just couldn't stand Bella. I, on the other hand, really liked her in this one, and cried when she was shown screaming/crying in bed when Edward was gone. Somehow, I could relate to the pain.

"Always remember, my HA is within you FOREVER!"

2009-11-22T16:30:00.010-10:00

This past Tuesday, my little family and I went with Lina to watch HA: The Breath of Life (PCC's new night show) for the first time. It was an awesome show, especially since our friend Ricky--who plays the main character, "Mana"--does such a superb job, so much so that my friends and I decided, TEAM RICKY is where it's at! Lol. I went with Lina and Tati again last night, and it just gets better, because we got to see 2 new people play Mana's mom and girlfriend. HA has a great story line and is so entertaining from beginning to end. I love the dancing, the props, the acting, everything...the music I am still taking time to get used to, but only because the music from the previous show HORIZONS is ingrained in all of us who grew up with it.

One of my favorite scenes is where the main character "Mana" grows from a boy to a man, and then proceeds to lead the dancers in the HAKA. (Wish I recorded that part, maybe next time!) Ricky is an awesome performer, because he seems to give it his all and nothing less...I really hope PCC pays him a lot of money, it would be a shame if they didn't.

Here is a clip from one of my favorite sections. Featured are Terina Oto as "Lani" and Ricky Suaava as "Mana."

In the meantime...

2009-11-15T23:23:00.003-10:00

So much to catch up on...in the meantime I watched an episode of Cold Case on a recent Delta flight and really liked this episode (Season 6 Ep. 8) about a Russian opera prodigy who was murdered before her vocal dreams were realized.

Cold Case has such great stories and always feature awesome music. The closing song was Cindy Lauper's "True Colors" and it made me fall in love with the words, so I think it was one of my FB headlines this week. Lol. Anyway, until next time...

Laila

2009-09-22T13:13:00.004-10:00

Finally made Laila's first video. Enjoy!

SICK OF BEING SICK

2009-09-12T01:26:00.005-10:00

The title of this blog is so relevant in many factors of my life right now, but I'm not ready to divulge just yet. Being physically sick for the whole summer has been a pain in the ass. My girls have not been to the beach for months, and ever since we put the swimming pool away, we have been sick on and off. Lole has probably had a cough for the longest, and after a recent doctor visit, we found that she probably has asthma. Laila is also coughing and feverish on and off but she is teething and also had an ear infection a few weeks ago so it's hard to really pin point what's wrong with her. I, on the other hand, thinking nothing of my 2 month long cough, kept trying to muscle through it and cross my fingers that it would just dissappear and I would be back to normal.

Well, that didn't happen and I just kept getting worse by the day, especially since Labor Day Weekend was so very long and drawn-out, and I wasted a lot of time doing things I shouldn't. ANYWAY, the doctor nearly sent me to the Emergency Rm on Thursday because she said my asthma was so bad, to which I replied, "But I don't HAVE asthma!?" I guess I was sick for so long that I was wheezing badly and my lungs were too tight. SO I spent 2 hours in the doctor's office trying to fight a trip to the ER by doing 3 treatments of Albuterol, a steroid given through a nebulizor to help clear your airways. Ugh, it was horrible. Not only did I also have an ear infection, I had crazy sinus problems (green snots for days) and on top of that 2 kids screaming in my ear! I was doing everything in my power to keep from passing out, and I just wanted to cry because I was so miserable and couldn't take care of myself, let alone my kids.

Needless to say, I have been popping pills like crazy and breathing so much better through puffers, nebulizors, and other meds. These last 24 hours have been the calm after the storm! I don't know why the hell I wait so long to try and get better because being a sick mom is the PITS. I was so cranky and mean and irritable for so long that most days I just wanted to curl up in my bed and shut out the world. My poor kids, esp. Lole have been getting the brunt of my misery so I am flippin ready to get better already, so I can get them better, and we can all finally be FREE of illness and we can have FUN. Sorry kids, and you my Dear Blog...mommy's getting there!

BAYFEST 09

2009-08-19T09:36:00.011-10:00

This past Sunday we took the kids to the Kanoehe Marine Core Base for their annual BAYFEST. We had so much fun as this was the only real family activity we've done all summer! It was the last day of the 3 day festivities and thankfully there wasn't such a huge crowd. Black Eyed Peas had a concert there the night before and there were over 20,000 in attendance, so we were glad to have gone on the last day. Entrance was only $5 (which included all the entertainment) ride wrist bands only $15, and food EVERYWHERE. The first thing we did was eat--shimp scampi, pizza, and huli huli chicken for the 3 of us--but me and Laila were in heaven eating the mini donuts and funnel cake. We got to go on like an hour boat ride to (a very small) Coconut Island, where the UH Manoa Marine Biology Dept conducts research. It wasn't that interesting but it kept us cool and my husband and daughters got to ride a boat for the first time. There were even a few dolphins held there, which made Lole sad because they were in cages.

Lole went on her very first carnival rides; the ferris wheel, crazy plane, slide, bumper cars, and the elevator one (don't remember the name of the one where you sit down and the ride goes up and down like an elevator). It was so much fun watching her brave the rides. She then got really antsy when we sat down to wait for Fiji and Lost Coast Sound (Laga, Kiwini and Siaosi) so I had to go and get her glow toys. By the time that was over, my feet were killing, it was almost 9 and the kids were ready to go, so we left before Katchafire and the fireworks. Lole is still raving about the fun she had that day and can't wait to go to the next carnival.

Lole sliding all by herself

The only ride Laila was on

Fiji's performance (highlight of the entertainment)

POOPED!

DELIRIOUS

2009-08-18T10:20:00.004-10:00

Iwa posted this video on Facebook one day of "Rose Park's Drill Team" performing at the Utah Samoan Flag Day this summer and we have been watching it ever since! I've seen their African Queen routine and this one tops it, esp because of those tiny little shorts. Too funny!

Lole's First Day of Preschool

2009-08-06T10:27:00.005-10:00

This day has been long-awaited, and I have many mixed feelings. Lole has been my constant companion for four years...and I cannot say that I don't miss her dearly, nor can I deny a sense of longing for my girl who is growing up WAY...TOO...FAST! This morning, I woke her up to get ready and immediately she began to whimper (as in recent days leading up to this one, when the subject of her going to school came up). We showered together and I put on her clothes that I had ironed early this morning. I offered breakfast but she didn't want anything to eat, and we were off to 7-11 to buy her lunch. I was supposed to make her homemade musubis but someone ate the last can of spam, so I was dissappointed that her first school lunch was all storebought. Oh well! When we got to school, she kept saying that she didn't want to go, and I just wanted to cave and tell her I didn't want her to go too! Then, when she saw another kid crying as his dad left, she started to cry again! It was so hard to watch her cry, but I had to assure her that she'd be fine and that she would have a great time. Leaving her was tricky, so I walked around the classroom for a little bit, showing her all the cool toys and activities, the bathroom, the teachers, etc. As soon as one of the aids had her attention, I knew I had to make my escape.

Spending the morning with just my 6 month old was bittersweet. On the one hand, Laila has my full attention for a few hours a day, on the other, Lole is terribly missed. I have no one to keep a quick eye on Laila while I run to the restroom, kitchen, or laundry. I will miss our arguments/conversations and while I probably won't miss hearing Disney channel all day, I'll miss the noise and her constant entertainment! It's almost her school lunch time, so I'm wishing I were there to watch her take her first bite, make and play with new friends and learn something new. When her dad called to see how everything went, I started crying like a baby! Lol. Luckily her school is right down the road, like a 2 min drive from here, because I cannot wait to pick her up!

So glad her best friend and cousin is in her class!!!

Eddie Boy

2009-08-02T21:52:00.010-10:00

On Jul 13th, my classmate and brutha (by way of my sister marrying his older brother, and me marrying his cousin) Eddie aka "Chump" was hit by a car right across my house on our only highway. It happened at night (on a very lively, busy one at that) and apparently, neither he, nor the driver saw each other while he was crossing the road. I have never witnessed anything like it, from the sounds of the car crashing into his body (as if it were two cars colliding), to the dead silence as he lay there, practically lifeless, with so many people watching. Kakela Beach Park was filled with people attending the Fonoimoana Reunion camp, which is directly across my house where some of my husband's friends and cousins (including Eddie) were kicking it after a rugby tourney. He was hit at full speed, (meaning the car did not brake until after he was hit) so his injuries were quite serious.

Upon arriving to the hospital, Eddie's condition was critical. Doctors said that his lungs had collapsed, his ankles and hip were broken, his spleen and liver were injured and worst of all, he had bleeding in the brain. We went the very next morning to Queens to visit, and he was still undergoing tests and scans and very heavily sedated, with tubes and wires protruding from his body. By then, the bleeding in his brain had stopped, but there was still swelling, and no one knew what his condition would be once the pain meds wore off. After about 2 weeks in ICU, he is finally free of his feeding/breathing tubes, and currently out of ICU. He is able to talk and understand what you say, but his dialogging can get a bit random--his sister calls it mumbling--so it made me a little sad to not be able to crack jokes with him like usual. Plus, he's lost so much weight...but even with that said, he is making GREAT progress considering the trauma his body has gone through. As it turns out, not even one surgery is needed, though doctors were pretty sure they'd at least have to operate on the hip and possibly the brain. Upon visiting him today after not seeing him for over a week, he recognized Bo and I right away, so we were so happy! His dreads are still in tact (though he did mention that he needed to cut them) and he had us cracking up because he kept telling Bo to get ready so they can go cause he needs to get outta there!! He even made swimming/fishing comments (some of his fav pastimes), played thumb games with his nephew Moses, and told Laila that she was fat. haha.

Eddie is very close to me and Bo and he is always there for us whenever we ask anything of him. Our prayer is that he continues to improve through physical rehabilitation, and the continued support and understanding from loved ones. His big sister Dawn has been Eddie's rock through it all, and I believe that his smooth recovery has a lot to do with her spiritual strength and optimism. Tonight as I was beginning to complain and HATE the world because I'm so sick of coughing, my neck/back pains, headache and menstrual cramps, the image of Eddie chatting it up with us from a hospital bed, quickly humbled me. In many ways, I am so DEAD, but today's visit has made me realize I need to really work on being more ALIVE, in my thoughts, in my actions, and in my outlook on everything. Wishing "Eddie Boy" (as my husband calls him) a speedy recovery!!!

Eddie's sister Dawn, Laila, Bo and "Chump"

6 months

2009-07-31T06:03:00.004-10:00

This little girl is so quiet and mellow, it's scary! She just had her 6 month checkup this week and she is currently 27in. long, and since her last visit (for being sick) at the beginning of the month has lost 1.4 lbs. She was 22.8 4 weeks ago, and now weighs 21.4. Doctor says this is ok, since she was actually overweight before. Since I have stopped pumping all together (due to laziness), she has been feeding straight from the tap, which is hard for me because I much prefer to see how much milk she is actually getting, but good for her because she is burning calories while doing so, and therefore maintaining healthy weight. She got some more shots and her ears pierced last weekend. She is eating solids like sweet potato, carrots, and peas (doesn't really like the sweet stuff) and an occasional chicken bone (which was ill-advised by the doc the other day, so that will stop!) No teeth yet, but there is one in the works and her hair is still in progress . She loves playing with her dad, but is very much a mommy's girl. When on her tummy, she used to just push her body with her feet to get places, but now she is actively utilizing her knees and feet to crawl forward. It is so hard to eat around her because she stares at us with a sad face and licks her lips. She is also very grabby, so we have to be careful what objects are near her, be it food, or otherwise, because she is relentless. She is so easy and I love that she has been sleeping through the night for months!

Jazzy Fete

2009-07-21T23:07:00.013-10:00

My niece dances for a Tahitian dance group called Nonosina Hawaii and 2 weeks ago they were one of few participants in the annual fete held at PCC. This year's Te Mahana Hiro'a O Tahiti started off with the solo competition on Friday night (7/10), and then the group one on Saturday (7/11). Jaz competed in the 14-15 year old division (about 12 girls) of which she took first place, and then went on to win the Overall against the winners from the 12-13 yr old division and the 16+, which included last year's first place winner. On Saturday, Nonsina Hawaii went on to win most of the group competition categories as well. Jazzy is so humble and quiet and you would never take her for the kind of girl to put herself out there, performing in front of lots of people. But her love of dance more than makes up for whatever shyness she has, which is why I am such a proud aunty. As the eldest grandchild, I had the privilege of watching her grow from infancy, and babysitting her while my sister was finishing college. I still remember when she was barely a year old, trying to do a dance to Ilona Irvine's version of "Taapeape Papa" in our living room! She was so graceful and smooth then, just as she is now..truly, a beautiful dancer!

These clips don't do the dancers justice, but I wanted to share...my those drums are fast!!!

First group of 3 during the first round of 14-15 yr old division
Jazzy is the 2nd from the left (brown and orange)

Part of their aparima number from Saturday's group competition

Blessing Laila

2009-07-06T23:31:00.012-10:00

*photo by Shanae Jones

It was a near miss (again) but we finally did it. Laila was blessed yesterday in our home, with very close family and friends around (the ones that actually got the message) and with the support of our awesome bishopric. It has been long-awaited, but well worth it considering this day was postponed for months, at first because we waited for my parents' visit from Utah, and everywhere else in the meantime because my husband was not ready (nor I for that matter). Those who know us well will confirm this was no easy task, especially on Bo's part, to prepare himself to bless Laila. The adversary worked hard to break us down and inhibit his progression (even through me) but all things are possible because of our Savior, and having a good and great God made this occasion an example of that fact. It was a momentous event for our little family (nothing short of a miracle) and we could feel our Heavenly Father's love for us and for our daughter on her special day.

*photo by Shanae Jones

Just before the blessing, Laila got some photos taken of her by a friend and up-and-coming photographer, Shanae Jones. My poor baby was only asleep 5 mins before we had to wake her up, hence the very angry/sleepy face. She was so tired, but didn't cry during the photos and also didn't make a sound in the priesthood circle. I was very relieved because that would have only made Bo more nervous. I could feel that he was overwhelmed by the responsibility that was his, but we both witnessed the spirit strongly, and had to take a moment afterwards to calm our emotions. We had awesome help preparing a feast on behalf of Laila, serving chicken, ribs, shrimp, fish, lusipi, NZ sausages, sweet potato, rice, crab and potato salad, cakes, fruit, faikakai (sp?), trifle, cinnamon rolls and mango otai. Since we actually canceled the blessing 2 days before only to reschedule the next day, we failed to invite everyone we wanted to and consequently sent people home with trays of grub. The most important thing was that my daughter finally got her blessing, and that she, along with her father and I are better for it.

Laila Fiagatsi Malupo, your life has been such a gift. You have the name of your aunt for a reason, because I truly believe you were sent to bring us together, not just as an earthly family, but as an eternal family with God. Something about your temperament, your spirit, your aura exudes peace, and it has been a joy to watch you grow and experience the world around you. A friend suggested once that the veil is still thin with infants, and if that is so, your smiles are enough to convince me that you, me, all of His children, come from a glorious place worth returning to. I love you always, Mom.

*photo by Shanae Jones

I wanted to be his Billie Jean

2009-06-27T17:43:00.013-10:00

I mean who didn't? Let's face it, MJ was iconic and if you never had a crush on him as a kid/teen/young adult growing up in the 80's, you're lying. I looooved him when he was colored, but even when he started to get whiter than Madonna, watching him perform was still damn near amazing. That's why MJ's passing is so ironic because I've been meaning to do a post on him for MONTHS.

Since March of this year, we used to frequent his official YOUTUBE channel almost every day (when it only had 2 pages of videos to flip through) because Lole wanted to watch 'em all time, and not just the popular ones...ALL OF 'EM! Thinking back, this was the very reason I never blogged about it, for fear that I'd be criticized for letting my child watch his videos so religiously. Anyway, when I found out he was doing a London tour beginning JUL 8, I thought for some reason that I was destined to see him perform LIVE for the mere fact that the original start date was my birthday. Concert promoters said MJ was in excellent physical condition, so I figured if he is well enough for London, maybe soon he'd do a USA tour, and by then, Lole would be old enough to come with. In the meantime, I vowed to get the entire video collection on DVD so she and I could practice our moves. Now with his recent death I'm sure commemorative CD/DVD sets are hitting the stores like crazy, and someone is making a killing (no pun intended).

I haven't been able to watch any news media on him since his death, but it doesn't matter to me. Dead or alive, black or white, wierdo or not, MJ will always be the best, period. Who would've thought Thriller would be the best selling album in history, given only 8 weeks to complete? No one, not even Quincy Jones. But much more than that, MJ had an intangible way of convincing you that Diana WAS Dirty, that you really WEREN'T alone, and this really WAS Thriller night, whatever that means. He made you feel his passion for music with every last "jammon" and every gyrating move. Ahh, I still think he is the only celebrity that could make me faint face to face. Now, I'll never know.

I have sooooo many favorite videos, but because my fondest memories of him were invoked by Billie Jean and his infamous moonwalk, I just had to. I love that even though obviously aged in this clip, his moves proved that he was still the KING OF POP.

Thanks for the memories Michael Jackson. May your journey be peaceful.

Vacay or Staycay

2009-06-17T04:04:00.007-10:00

For the longest time now, my husband and I have been planning to take a family vacation next month. Our hope was that we would just enjoy some much needed time away from Hawaii and visit families in Cali and Utah. However, due to this recession, Bo hasn't been working steadily pretty much since Jan, and company jobs aren't really looking up until somewhere around August. Now as much as I would LOVE to get away and build fun memories with my family elsewhere, I am also a realist. I am the one who worries about bills and "rainy days" whereas my husband's view of money is that it "comes and goes" (therefore, it's ok to let it go...often...no matter the quantity). Even before this recession, I have always been very thrifty, cheap if you will, and have learned to eliminate my wants for only the basic of needs (most times).

I hate to be a ball-buster, but I cannot justify going on a vacation after my husband has been at home and without work. Up until yesterday, he thought I was still game, but I kindly made a suggestion that we postpone or cancel indefinitely. I heard the term "Staycation" and for us that means stay your butt home and create some kind of vacation on the island. It may not be the 'cation of our dreams, but it seems to be the smarter, wiser choice. There are so many places both of us have never been on Oahu (separately and together) and that includes beaches, lookouts, and other tourist attractions. Not only that, many hotels are discounting their prices to make up for the slow influx of visitors to Hawaii.

I'm still not 100% sure on which one will actually take place, staycation or vacation, but if it has to be...WAIKIKI HERE WE COME!

Having an AHA moment

2009-06-14T23:31:00.014-10:00

I don't know if being a stay at home mom is for me, when in actuality, that's all I wanted to "be" when I grew up. As a kid, I remembered saying I wanted to be an astronaut (just because), but in my teenage years, the only other career I ever thought about (besides MOM) was teaching. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to spend these early years with my kids, but I just don't think I'm very good at it. Not surprisingly, my husband is the "fun" parent, always wanting to go places and see new things as a family (mainly for Lole since Laila doesn't speak human), whereas I'm always the one saying, "How much is this going to cost?" or "How long are we gonna be?" or "How far away is it?" In fact, my husband convinced me everyday last week to "ditch" the chores so we can go out, and I did...but by the end of the week my chores were swearing at me and guess who had to do it all by herself?

Even with 2 kids, this staying home FULL TIME is quite new to me. When Lole was born, I was in school full-time and nearing "senior" status, held a BYUH leadership position for half of her first year, and a calling as Compassionate Service Leader. I even tutored for a few hours a week at Kahuku High and had awesome babysitting help from my sister, my in-laws, and friends from school and church. In contrast, being at home with now 4 year old Lole AND the new baby with nothing else to do but care for them (and Bo) is so much more challenging to me. I've mentioned before that when too many things are coming at me at once, I tend to get overwhelmed and shut down. I am finding that even having too much time to manage can be equally challenging because it can possibly lead to a sedentary life, feelings of depression and low self-worth.

To make matters worse, I've literally been AT HOME a lot this year. Besides appointments, weekly errands, and an occassional movie or date, I pretty much post up at home all day everyday. I pulled Lole out of preschool this Jan because I thought it was too expensive, and then I stopped taking her to another early preschool she'd been attending just because I thought it was waste time and boring. That was a mistake, 'cause now LOLE doesn't want to go anywhere either, which is so out of her norm. Ugh, what have I done?!

Tonight, I realized that my baby is going to be 6 months at the end of July and although she's quite healthy, I, on the other hand, am not. Physically, I still feel worse than I did when I was pregnant. My apetite is hitting the roof and it needs to HIT DA ROAD 'cause I can feel my fat accumulating in ways never before seen. My hair is thinning, I have very little drive/motivation, and just enough energy to cover the kids needs, not so much mine or my husband's. Spiritually, I'm not even there...for reals.

SO I GUESS MY "AHA" IS THIS: I am seemingly out-of-whack because of my need to become SELF-ACTUALIZED...(more on that later).....Therefore:

I'm tired of being tired, so I will go to bed earlier and go back to sleep as soon as I'm done pumping (as opposed to staying online for another hour or two when I'm pau). I need to stop playing online games, ie. Bejeweled Blitz, and play with my kids...preferrable OUTSIDE! For my health, I will make the time for any kind of exercise, even if it means walking around the yard, or paying for an aerobics class my sister has been trying to commit me to for the last few years. And as far as food goes, I think right now I can handle "portion control" until my will-power is strong enough to cut out the junk (almost) completely. This recession is teaching me that I need to invest further in a practical career, so I'm going to go back to school within the next year or 2 for an online MBA/ACC or M.Ed. (already checking out my options with Univ of Phoenix). Most importantly, my spirit is the most in dire condition. Even when I was partying, at least I always knew where I needed to be, but nowadays, I find it hard to sit in church and truly want to be there for the right reasons. Between battling old demons and wallowing in self-pity, I've lost that "warm feeling", the happiness that comes from knowing I am doing exactly what the Lord wants me to, and finding TRUE JOY in that. With that said, I guess I have to get back to the basics ON EVERYTHING (me, my family and God) and find ways to live to my potential. Stay tuned.

18 weeks

2009-06-04T22:41:00.009-10:00

My baby girl is growing so fast! Last Sat. we had her 4 month physical and she checked out great. She weighed 19 1/2 lbs, and she shot up a little bit in her height (thank goodness). She's a tough cookie and didn't flinch/cry until her 2nd shot, but even then only a little bit. This is all good news considering we had a slight scare a month ago after she rolled out of her chair, on to the bed, and then to the floor, almost a 3 foot drop. I was only able to catch her right at the end, but not enough to soften her fall. I was so worried because she fell mostly on her head, but we have pretty soft carpet. Still, I needed the doc's opinion and took her in just to be sure.

Since her fall (apparently harmless), she's been fine. At 18 weeks, she is still such a quiet baby that even her giggles/laughs are quiet, that's why I love her cute little cry because at least then I can hear her. Daddy seems to be the only one who can really get her to laugh out loud and for a long time. Her hair is still, TAKING LONG to grow, but it only adds to her charm. She started eating baby food and is a big fan of rice cereal thus far. We've tried mashed up carrots, taro, and breadfruit, as well as the Gerber bananas and apple sauce. She seems to prefer the bland stuff as of now (plus her fingers), but my husband tries to push her limits by feeding her junk like chips and ice cream and it's driving me nuts!

My favorite thing is her BUMBO chair, designed to keep infants in a (tight) safe sitting position. It works wonders as a second pair of hands, and we've even taken it to the beach so she can post up in the sand if we have to step away for a few to catch crabs. She's been to many movies already: Hannah Montana, 17 Again, Night at the Museum II, and most recently, UP. She's great at sleeping through the night but I still get up to pump at least once or twice. It's pretty damn annoying, but I do it to keep up her milk supply (a friend jokes that I should work for Meadow Gold), and to catch up on my blogging/facebooking, etc. Lol! We are looking forward to her being able to touch the ground in the walker we bought her and are excited as she is just starting the beginning stages of crawling. Love you so much baby!

HELLO YOU!

2009-06-03T23:00:00.000-10:00

Geesh, when my cousin's wife Hine told me I'd be on blogger much less because of Facebook, I didn't take her serious...but, seriously, it's true! Facebook is my new guilty pleasure, especially now that I've discovered the popular game "Bejeweled Blitz." I don't know why I play it, I'm not even good! I guess I just like the thrill of the challenge and so does my husband (1 minute to try and top your friends' high scores). Anyway, I've been getting in to the habit of falling asleep early--like before 10pm--and then waking up @ 2 or 3am to pump my baby some bottles while crusing the net. I'm in a kind of "blog funk" because I have so much to catch up on, and so little motivation to do so, but recently I've decided that I'd be a much better blogger if I did so with purpose. My friend Kait is a perfect example because she makes a hard copy of her onling blog, that acts like a journal. It's a great idea, and I will probably be doing the same once I get out of my "funk", if ever.

Yesterday my husband bought a pool for the kids (mostly him) to cool off in, and he and my daughter Lole swam in it for like an hour. Today, Lole racked in a total of 5 hours of outdoor/swimming fun. She is totally and completely PAKU (black.burnt.dark.) and is still sleeping in her swimsuit. That's how exhausted she was. Laila girl also got in the water, and floated around like a cool cat (she is so mellow it's scary.) Later, the cousins came over to swim with Lole and eat pizza but I was too tired to take in any more sun, let alone pictures. I guess it wasn't that dumb of an idea to buy a pool when you live right across the beach.

Mother's Day

2009-05-28T02:59:00.002-10:00

After Nalu's baptism (see previous posts), that same night our ward had a Mother's Day party. They served prime rib and shrimp and I literally did not come up for air until mine and my husband's plates (and several pieces of cake) were done. What? It was a long day! Anyway, that night my father-in-law (and his fai-kava-singing buddies) serenaded us with a traditional Mother's Day Tongan song, dedicated it to my mother-in-law, and then dug out to go to fai-kava. Chee hoo, what a guy! We also enjoyed the smooth sounds of Uncle Benny Kai, and some beautiful hula dancing.

The next morning I forced myself to go to church (tired as I was) because the night before someone had told us at the party that the Primary was going to sing in sacrament. Now you know that I am a frequent "cutter" because had I known this, I would've been working with Lole at home and teaching her the words instead of trying to jam the tune into her head an hour before church starts. (Yah I know, I'm FIRED!) She was a little nervous to sit up on stage without us, but there were no tears/drama, she was reverent, and when they sang, she mouthed the words the best she could, meanwhile flashing the biggest smile back at me. It was the HIGHLIGHT of my day.

Afterward we went to Ted's Bakery to get my mom, my sister and my mother-in-law some pies/cakes, since I didn't get any leis for them. (I am soooooo not a lei person, or a flower person...food or money, that's my preference. Lol.) So after delievering their goods, we agreed to rerturn to my sister's house for some lasagna, salad, garlic bread and sweets later on (was onos), but not before enjoying a wonderful lunch cooked by my mother-in-law.

Although my husband apologized for not getting me anything special, he DID come to church and that is always a gift in itself. He also made up for it a week later by taking me to Red Lobster for lunch, but by the picture you would think it was Father's Day instead.

Again, what a fun weekend that was, especially being able to celebrate Mother's Day WITH MY MOM. I haven't done so in over 10 years, so this was indeed special. My mom is truly the backbone of the family, and I have always known/admired her strength. She brings truth to the saying that "Behind every great man there's a great woman" as I have witnessed many times over, though I'd like to say that she is "NEXT" to my father rather than behind. Recently I have seen the tender way in which she "carries" my Dad (emotionally, and sometimes physically) and to me, there is no truer love than the one that NEVER leaves your side. Mom is a ROCK and she will always be my example of faith, endurance, and self-less love. Miss and love you mama!

Lole's First Haircut

2009-05-28T01:50:00.001-10:00

It was during my afternoon nap on Mother's Day, that Lole decided she'd give me a "gift" of sorts...one that I'm sure every child gives their mother...she cut her hair! Eek. All I remember was waking up to a screaming child and an angry husband trying to open the door that she had locked. Apparently, Daddy warned her not to play with the scissors, and 10 mins later she made her debut into the living room with a towel over her head. When he saw little short hairs hanging out, he yelled, and she freaked out and came running. I was still half asleep and after worrying that Daddy was gonna lick her (thankfully he never), I just busted up laughing cause at that point, WHAT CAN YOU DO? The damage turned out to be minimal, and we probably could have left it untouched because all she did really was cut bangs. If you ask me, she did tons better than any of my self-made bang-cuts...mine were hideous, crooked and all! When we went to the salon a week later, the lady couldn't do anything about the bangs, but she did frame the rest of it and cut off 2 inches all over. She loved getting a real haircut for the first time.

Salon day (purple dress)
The next day @ the mall again (with Nalu)

Nalu's Birthday Weekend

2009-05-22T23:00:00.047-10:00

Kainalu Tuita'alili is my sister Fia's middle child--arguably her favorite--and he turned 8 on Friday, May 8th. What an awesome day that was, starting with his (Kahuku) Elementary May Day @ BYUH (thank goodness it was there and not @ PCC cause the air con. was heaven), a trip to Chili's in Mililani (by his request), and then later on the Kahuku High May Night which my niece performed in. On top of that, Nalu got baptized the very next morning! It was pure awesomeness, especially because my parents were in town to witness/partake of it all. (Below are separate posts from that crazy weekend!)

Kahuku Elementary May Day

2009-05-22T23:00:00.046-10:00

May Day in our community is a treasured event because the kids/instructors really put on a PRODUCTION, no matter the age. You have to be there to really appreciate the CUTE factor. This year, Nalu's 2nd grade class had a Surfing/Beach theme which was a crowd pleaser, along with whatever grade did MOTOWN. It's always interesting when the kids perform non-Polynesian numbers...someday I'll post the footage.

Chili's

2009-05-22T23:00:00.042-10:00

Immediately after May Day, we shot down to Nalu's favorite restaurant a little over an hour away. It was my first time trying Chili's White Chocolate Molten, and let me just say that stuff is GOOOOOD. I can't decide between the chocolate or vanilla, all I know is they both ROCK. (Fatso!)

KHS May Night

2009-05-22T23:00:00.037-10:00

Kahuku High's May Night was emceed by "Da Braddahs" so this was another "had to be there" event. This year, they honored past Kings and Queens and for my class, Hoku Kamakeeaina represented '96. My niece danced in Tahiti (one of my favorites cause all the dancers were skinny and pretty--yes, i can like it just for that) and Tonga, something new for Jaz. Our friend and Tongan royal, Funganimapa Tuipulotu (son of the late Prince Tu'ipelehake) and wife Tapu were recognized and danced with some of the community's Tongan elders, so it was cool to see. Jazzy did great, and still managed to give a sweet talk for her brother's baptism the next morning.

Baptism

2009-05-22T23:00:00.036-10:00

Nalu's baptism is the first that I've seen of all my nieces and nephews (there were 5 before him), so obviously his was very special to me. I was so impressed with his maturity and poise; the reverent manner in which he conducted himself and the sureness of his testimony. Likewise, it was great to see my brother-in-law exercise his rights as a father and worthy priesthood holder. I'm very proud of my nephew for his decision to be baptized and confirmed a member of our church. He is such a good kid: humble, obedient, honest, loving, and respectful, with the heart of a king. One day I hope to have a son or sons, and if they are anything like Nalu, I'd consider myself very fortunate.

My First BF

2009-05-21T13:12:00.012-10:00

Let it be known to the blogging world that CATCHING UP after an absence (almost a month), really sucks. I was just about to start my lengthy recap of my parents' visit from Utah, when my daughter asks me to make her saimin...at 11:30pm. I have a few "choice" words I'd like to say to her for not eating when I told her to, but I will keep them to myself because Jesus loves the little children, and so must I. I also busted my phone tonight (only 3 weeks old) so I'd like to just hurry up and sleep this day off already.

When I was a 3rd grader attending Lupelele Elementary School in American Samoa, Kehau was the first real friend I ever had. She had ehu-blond hair, green eyes, fair skin, and a name I never forgot. She had just moved from Hawaii that year, so I was immediately drawn to her, though I don't quite know what exactly she saw in me as a friend. She was feisty, and I was quiet, but we were good kids. I remembered feeling so special when she asked me for my house number so we (little moe mimiz) could talk on the phone. My family moved to Hawaii before the '87 school year, so I was 9 the last time I'd seen her. I have always wondered what happened to her ever since.

Last month, the Galeai family in our ward spoke during sacrament mtg. Because I never forgot Kehau's name, I approached the family with excitement, because her resemblance to them was unmistakable. My hunch was right, and on Mother's Day I found out that she was coming to Hawaii from Idaho, to bless her son in our ward. {Small world, huh?}

Well, this past Sunday I was finally reunited with Kehau, and I am stoked to reconnect and possibly build a new friendship all over again. I wonder how differenent/alike we are, where our paths have led us, and whether or not our personalities are even compatible any more. I guess we shall see. This time around, I asked for her number and we have agreed to catch up via email.

Here we are, 22 years later with our babies that were both born in Jan, 10 days apart.

PS: I just got an email from her this morning, and she says I was always the smartest girl in school, teacher praising my work all the time (how come I don't remember that?) Anyway, it really is awesome to find her.

M.I.A.

2009-05-20T15:34:00.003-10:00

It's been a busy few weeks thus far in May, and lately I've opted to sleep more and play on the computer less. I will, however, commit to one blog everyday until I am caught up with all that I've been meaning to blog about but just never came around to it. Stay tuned.

FLU CRAZY

2009-04-29T22:51:00.008-10:00

"So far so good we still living today

But we don't know what tomorrow brings
In this crazy world"
-Lucky Dube

I haven't been blogging much because I've been sick for 3 weeks. I only went to the doctor after 2 weeks of coughing and a night of fever & body aches, and was told last week that I'd feel better in 2 days. (Uh, yah, still waiting.) The diagnosis was strep throat, something I get at least once EVERY year, but with the current SWINE FLU outbreak, it's scary to think that our regular flu season could take a turn for the worst because so many in our community are getting sick.

In the Honolulu Advertiser, there's an article about "possible" swine flu cases that are currently awaiting test results on our islands. Govt officials are talking about screening airline passengers coming into Hawaii as a means of prevention, and urging people not to stock-pile anti-viral flu medications. Supposedly, we are well prepared (compared to other states) with our airport "surveillance" system, briefly described as a "system that relies on airline crews to identify potentially ill passengers." (Wow, GENIUS!) Lingle is urging people not to panic, but to be ready just in case, but really, if that's all Hawaii has PLANNED for a possible pandemic, we are SCREWED. (Not that it would get this bad, but can anyone envision another KALAUPAPA?)

In response to the above mentioned Honolulu Advertiser article, one reader suggested that the virus was created by the govt to wipe out the elderly and the "weak", thus easing the economy by reducing the burden on Social Security & Health Care. (LOL)

This morning, a friend posted this article on Facebook, that connects the Swine Flu virus to American owned pig factories in Xaltepec, Mexico, a very possible "Ground Zero" along with these VERY TELLING pictures. ("For the love of money is the root of all evil..." 1 Tim 6:10)

While in town at the Social Security Office today (no I wasn't trying to claim early benefits), I saw one oriental lady with a mask on and it reminded me of the SARS scare from a few years ago. Also in that same office, there was a young mother with her infant, and an elderly woman who looked to be her mom. When a man coughed behind them, the younger woman and her mom exchanged looks, and grandma quickly swooped up baby and took him outside. I guess I should've done that too, seeing as my child was sitting right in my lap, but I didn't. I mean hello, I've been coughing around my infant for 3 weeks already, so what good would that have done?!

I don't know about you, but all this hysteria and the conspiracy theories that surround it are so CRAZY I have to laugh, and NOT because people are falling ill/dying everyday, but because if I don't I WILL GO (FLU)CRAZY, paranoid and panicky! Personally, I don't think that closing our American borders is the answer(seeing as the virus is already IN the US AND because we've been so unsuccessful in attempting this throughout our history). Apparently, neither is the FLU vaccine, because in some cases it's been known to have worse affects on people than the actual virus. Even if we did have one for this particular strain, viruses MUTATE, da buggahs! Education and prevention is the key, but what is your take? Propaganda...Conspiracy...Coincidence...Signs of the Times? I mean, what else can we do but wash our hands religiously and pray even more vigorously!?

We are living in....living in....THIS CRAZY WORLD!

You're Still the One

2009-04-20T21:41:00.012-10:00

PRESS PLAY

Listening to "You're Still the One" has just brought back a ton of memories. It was one of our favorite songs my girls and I used to sing when I lived in Utah, and eventually became my wedding song a few years later. I met my husband in 1997 and you could say that from the get-go we were oddly matched, or dare I say, ill-fated. The story of our love is enough to write a novel, maybe a few volumes even, and that I will save for a later time...like when I actually HAVE time. We've been together for 12 years, 8 of them just living solely for each other. {"Looks like we made it; Look how far we've come my baby.We mighta took the long way. We knew we'd get there someday"} For years we suffered the want for children, and yet at the same time, we weren't submissive enough to give up our worldly behaviors. Eventually, through our faith and the gift of modern medicine, our cries were heard and we were granted Lole, and most recently, Laila. Looking at the product of our relationship, my girls, {"Ain't nothin' better, we beat the odds together. I'm glad we didn't listen, look at what we would be missin"} I cannot speak any regret for the man I have chosen and for the life that we now live, even though he can drive me CRAZY! Yes, we've had many, many, many (did I say many?) hard times and are still "under construction", but all the good times are worth fighting...for our marriage, our family, and our love. {"They said, 'I bet they'll never make it' But just look at us holding on. We're still together still going strong."} You're still the one.

1997

A Family Friday

2009-04-18T20:43:00.009-10:00

This past week I've been so sick and therefore, stuck in the house every...single...day. But I couldn't stay in any longer when I saw how PERFECT yesterday's weather was for the BEACH. More than just warm and sunny, having little to no wind outside was what won me over. (So I don't cough all over the place.) We hit up Kakelas across the street as soon as Bo got home from work, and we were stoked to watch Laila's reaction to her first feel of ocean water and sand. I had been promising Lole to go swimming for days, so it was nice to finally let her have fun too. The only annoyance for me were the MOSQUITOES! I mean, since when did THEY hang out at the beach too?

Later on, Bo and I went on a much needed date once the kids were asleep. We wanted to go eat in town, but got lazy and (since we ate before we left) we went to a movie instead. I won't say what we watched (yes, it was that dumb) but we got there over an hour early. Due to the wait, I could tell my husband was getting tempted to pass the time in a nearby bar, but I didn't give in and we sat around talking instead. (Thank goodness!) We laughed and laughed outside our theater and were surprised to find we were the lone attendees (another hint that we should've watched something else!) We weren't hungry so we just bought candy and water. I almost cursed when I asked for a cup of ice and got an infant size cup instead. Then I asked for a bigger cup of ice and the cashier charged me $4.75 for it, so I told her she might as well just put soda in it too. And I know times are hard, but $4 for a $1 bottle of water? Ugh, next time I'll take an empty bottle and fill it up at the water fountain. Once in the theater, we got bored and took pics, then when the movie started, Bo's snoring (or ROARING) began! I was so tired I couldn't sit still so I laid Bo's shirt across the seats (I know, yuk!) and knocked out too! But even with all the wasted money on gas, a movie we never watched, and expensive snacks, I gotta say it was worth the time spent in each other's company. That night I watched my husband and kids sleep until I couldn't open my eyes anymore. It was such an awesome day!

Bloggin my Blues

2009-04-15T17:53:00.003-10:00

"There are three kinds of people: Those that make things happen, those that watch things happen and those that wonder what happened." -Unknown

Lately I've been feeling like I'm somewhere in between "watching" and "wondering", so blogging has been pushed back to the bottom of my list of "to-do's" (if I even had a list). On top of being physically sick, I feel mentally absent and emotionally withdrawn, and from what I don't know. I think the appropriate word to describe me right now is SLUGGISH and I am totally in need of a PICKER-UPPER of sorts. I know most of this low-energy has a lot to do with the combination of no exercise and my super increased apetite, so if anyone has some good home workout videos, please help a sistah out. My mind at the moment feels so CLUTTERED with all the things that can sometimes overwhelm people on the daily; husband, kids, finances, bills, chores, etc etc...and then to have to manage all the ONLINE FRIENDSHIP SITES....uh,it's overwhelming! LOL. I feel like there is so much more I can do, but by habit I tend to DO NOTHING when I feel like life is coming at me from all angles, at the same time! If anyone has any suggestions/helpful hints on how I can better manage my day to fit in caring for my family, cleaning, cooking, laundry, balancing books, exercising (physically & mentally), I would love to hear it. Better yet, I NEED TO HEAR IT!

HE LIVES

2009-04-12T06:03:00.003-10:00

"And now after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony last of all...that HE LIVES." (D&C 76:22)

First Presidency Message:
"At this Easter season of hope and renewal we testify of the glorious reality of the atonement and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. The empty tomb brought comforting assurance and provided the answer to the question of Job, “If a man die, shall he live again?” (Job 14:14).

Because of the Savior’s resurrection we will overcome death and become the beneficiaries of His mercy and grace. In a world of trouble and uncertainty, His peace fills our hearts and eases our minds. Jesus is in very deed “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6).

We give our sure witness that Jesus is the Christ. Though He was crucified, He rose triumphant from the tomb to our everlasting blessing and benefit. To each member of the human family He stands as our Advocate, our Savior, and our Friend."

Lole & cousins @ Dole Plantation

2009-04-03T22:21:00.012-10:00

L to R: Jaz, Nalu, Hepua, Lole, Sinalei, Juju

In all my years living in Hawaii, I have never been to the maze at the Dole Plantation in Wahiawa. This afternoon, Lole was lucky enough to tag along with her 2nd family, my sister Fia and her 3 kids. There they met a cousin of ours, who happens to have 2 cute little girls that I'm sure Lole was more than happy to play with. (She doesn't get to play with very many girls her age.) Here is the recap my sister sent to me along with some pictures:

"Thanks for letting us have Lole today. She had a blast. The maze was too confusing and we got lost very easily. We didn't even try to do the whole maze after only attempting two sections of the maze. We gave up and hit the ice cream stands! Jaz was the navigator, thankfully, she had the most sense of direction (NSEW) and helped get us all out. She (Lole) was the only one who DIDN'T want anything pineapple to eat at the Pineapple Plantation! So luckily at their snack bar they did have Ted's Bakery Chocolate mousse for her to eat. They went rolling down the hill after we ate ice cream...."

Don't they look like a fun group? Fa'afetai sis!

8 WEEKS, 5 DAYS

2009-03-31T11:38:00.011-10:00

We took Laila in for her shots and 2 mo. checkup today. She was weighed twice because the doctor didn't believe the number the nurse wrote down the first time. And since we had to take off her clothes twice to do so, she peed both times on 2 different scales. Lol. Doc says she's too heavy for her height (ie. short & fat). I pump breast milk almost exclusively and so that may be why her weight is off because she isn't burning enough calories through nursing. Pumping is hard work because of the extra time it takes me to wash/sterilize my "gear" and because I do it regularly even when she's still sleeping. But it reassures me that she's getting enough milk, and is easier on the "girls" because she had such a poor latch. Still, I'm thinking I should start making her work harder for her food from now on. Her current stats: Weight: 15 lbs. 5 oz., Height: 23.5".

Laila is a wonderful baby. She smiles all the time and is beginning to talk ("coo") more often. She likes to suck on her fists and has the cutest puppy-dog eyes. The poor babe is gassy all the time, so I always tease her that she's making popcorn in her diaper! Haha. Her lashes are growing thicker but her hair is still struggling behind, much like Lole's was. She loves to look at and listen to her big sister talk/sing and she has these fat cheeks we just want to bite off. She is such a joy!

Am. Samoa Quarter

2009-03-30T03:10:00.005-10:00

My 4yr old took the longest LATE NAP ever (I think she got up at 10pm)! Consequently, we are up watching Disney Channel at 3am and getting on each other's nerves. While surfing other blogs, I found this, the AMERICAN SAMOA quarter scheduled to be released in July '09. Isn't it prettyful? Read more about it here.

Waimea Falls

2009-03-26T22:04:00.017-10:00

My sister and I brought our kids back to Waimea Falls for a Spring Break activity because 1)it's close by and 2)it's affordable (Kama'aina: $6 adults, $3 children 4+up). The last time we came here in October, I was 6 mos. pregnant, it was bloody hot and I was very "exercise-deprived." This time around the weather was much cooler, baby rode on a stroller (not my pelvis) and yet, I still had a little trouble catching my breath! Oh well! Luckily, the "hike" (scenic walk with occassional, short climbs) was much easier than I remembered. We rested midway on a nice picnic bench, enjoying sandwiches, chips, musubis, pake cake, crackers and spicy edamame beans (yum) and then ate french fries and Acai bowls after the cold swim. Because we had baby, we took extra long for diapering, a pump session, and of course feeding Laila, so the kids had more time to enjoy the peacocks littering the front entrance. Gosh, those birds are annoyingly LOUD, but pretty. This was the longest Laila had been outdoors, so I was worried about all the passing showers we had to endure. But I was glad she got a little sun by the water and that we all enjoyed some nice fresh air. It was such a relaxing day.

Sister Malupo

2009-03-25T16:54:00.022-10:00

I have been postponing this blog, even thought of not doing it at all for privacy's sake, but I'd feel ungrateful if I didn't express my feelings of love and gratitude for my sister-in-law.

Late December, we got a call from Bo's little sister Fehi, whom at the time was 5 mos. into her mission in Indiana. After ignoring the unknown number on my cell (sorry sis, I don't DO strange numbers) we finally talked to her on the house phone. The shock of our missionary even calling period (a privilege allowed only under special circumstances) confirmed my in-laws' worries about a previous call 2 weeks prior, notifying them of her trip to the ER due to fatigue and excessive/prolonged bleeding during a very abnormal menstrual cycle. With tears in her eyes, my mother-in-law uttered the word "cancer" and all I could think about was how swiftly one can be taken by its oft times undetected grip.

However, when I spoke to Sister Malupo that day, her voice was not sad, despite being told her blood clots were tested and possibly cancerous and that she needed to come home right away. I broke down and asked all the whats, wheres, hows, and whys, but she reassured us that we needn't worry, for this was just another trial for her. She calmed me down instantly because her spirits were high (like most missionaries), her attitude upbeat, and her faith unwavering. She even made me laugh with her corny "I'm just rollin' with my homie Jesus Christ" line. Secretly, I was so stoked that she was coming home, but under the circumstances, I was trying to be positive for her and sensitive to what she was going to have to endure!

She arrived in Hawaii just before New Years and saw a specialist a few days later. After more testing, it was confirmed that she did indeed have Uterine Cancer, which for her meant a hysterectomy, and sadly, the loss of her ability to bear children. {Ugh, I know. She's only 22!} The doctor asked if she wanted to have children now, and if so, she could before proceeding with the operation. But being in her very "nun-like" position, this was a silly question. She told him, "Go ahead and take it out, I have to go back to my mission!" Her positive attitude and smiles shocked the doctor--who got a pass-a-long card from her mind you--and even though he called her "weird" he was happy she took the news like a champ. He gave her an estimation of about March-ish, for her to be able to return back to Indiana.

After undergoing a successful surgery the 20th of Jan., she spent the next couple weeks healing with a lot of rental movies and late nights on the couch with friends. She'd only been on recovery for a week before I gave birth to Laila, and yet she mustered the strength to visit us at Queens. About a month later she was back to normal and enjoying life again; playing with my kids, visiting friends, attending church & firesides, and even making YOUTUBE videos of her dancing Polynesian numbers as a favor to her friend. After getting confirmation from the doctor that the cancer went with her uterus, she was cleared to return to her mission. Three days ago, SHE called the Mission President (anxious much?) only to find out that they were already making preparations for her and that she would leave...today. And so she did.

Sister Malupo left just as abruptly as she came home, and I'm sitting here questioning where the time had gone? We didn't have a big farewell of sorts, in fact my husband and his older sister didn't even get to say goodbye. I think deep down inside, no one really wanted her to leave. Seeing Lole run and hug her with tears streaming down her face was the saddest thing I have witnessed in a while, because they'd become so close. Even I have found it difficult today to hold back the tears because of what it meant for me to have her here, especially after giving birth.

Without her even knowing it, she has shared and often carried my burdens; when I was an emotional wreck returning home from the hospital, when I was too scared to drive with my newborn in the backseat alone, when I was upset at Bo because he was still drinking, when I needed someone to keep Lole company while I tended to baby, or when I just needed a few minutes to myself to regroup. I mean, more than just a convenient second hand, having Fehi here was a comfort that I'm going to miss dearly. Being able to say "Can you go to the store for me", or "Do you mind driving us to our appt. in Kailua" or "Can you watch the kids while I take a hot shower?" was such a complete load off my shoulders, because every bit of help (as a mother to a newborn again) was needed. I felt so "not alone" with her around, and I especially appreciated her being there for Lole, whom Fehi called "Giiiiiirlfren!" everyday. I will miss watching them joke/dance/sing/hang out together as if Lole was a big girl. I will miss her excitement every time she sees Laila in the morning and how she laughed in amazement at how much heavier she was than the day before. I will miss her because talking to her made me feel young again and appreciative of my kids.
I mentioned earlier how I hesitated to write this post, and it was mostly because when she first came home, she wanted to keep things private to avoid a pity-party. For her, nothing else mattered but to return to do the work of the Lord in administering to the people of Indiana. Although her service to them was interrupted for 3 mos., she continued here at home and I never once heard her complain or do the "woe is me" dance. It was such a blessing to have her here for Laila's birth as well as Lole's 4th birthday. I am so grateful Heavenly Father allowed her this brief time with us. She is my hero and a wonderful example of faith in His Eternal Plan. Thank you Sister Malupo for all that you are and all that you have done for us. WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH and wish you endless success while in HIS service. INDIANA or BUST...again!

My President is ______

2009-03-24T21:30:00.011-10:00

"Mr. Black President, yeah Obama for real
They gotta put ya face on the 5000 dollar bill"

It's pretty exciting to witness our President in action, even though his term has barely started and the repair work on our nation is just scratching the surface. This video came out after Obama won the election and I've seen it and heard the song 100 times. I couldn't help but wonder if our Pres. elect has ever seen it, and if so, whether or not he sings along! Lol. I know it's such a random thought and although catchy, the song is the artist's (Young Jeezy's) portrayal of what Obama in office symbolizes for him, and maybe not all can relate. Obama being black has never been an influence in my decision to vote for him...he could've been purple for all I cared. But the song makes me wonder if white America takes offense to the idea of our Pres being labeled as black when he is also white? Did anyone write a song called "My President is Half-White"?

I've read that Obama refers to himself as African-American, like I am Samoan-American (of Samoan descent, but raised in America), but should the correct term for him be "African-Caucasian-American"? And if that's the case, should white people say they are "Caucasian-American"? Hmmm...just things I think about, I mean really what does it matter in these hard times as long as he doesn't give AIG anymore money. I'll just make it easy on myself and label him HAWAIIAN (since he's a product of our lovely islands) and write a song called "Eh Bah, my Prez stay from Hawaii!"

Hawaii Children's Discovery Center

2009-03-21T15:43:00.014-10:00

Since Lole is now four, yesterday was her last day in our Na Kamalei preschool. It was also the last day of our session (typically celebrated with a closing party) and our field trip day at the the Hawaii Children's Discovery Center in Honolulu. Lole and I had never been there before, and we were lucky enough to have Dad join us because he'd been sick all week and was tired of staying home. My sister Fia had Juju along with my other nephew Nalu with her. We got there bright and early at 9am, and I wasn't sure what to expect. It turned out to be so much fun! I don't really know the words to describe it, except that it is a great place for kids to explore the world around them. They have mini exhibits where kids can"play" cop, repairman, judge, banker, dentist, chef, and newscaster to name a few. They got to dress up in outfits, act out on stage, pretend to fish, and blow huge bubbles. They had a mock airplane and sailboat exhibit, some international exhibits and Lole's favorite, the play store where they could buy groceries. The center only had another school besides ours in attendance, along with a few other regular visitors, so it was a bit crowded at times. After about 2 hours, our school had a party outside where we ate mini bentos and the kids got their end of session certificates and goodie bags. Lole called the place "awesome" and had so much fun she knocked out as soon as we left. We are definitely taking her back there again. I only got a few pics before my battery died, most of the good ones are from my sister's camera. Enjoy!
(PS for Parents: If you're going to make the trip out here, there's a beautiful park nearby for a picnic. So bring your kids, your camera, and a cooler of food & drink for a nice Spring Break activity.)

OUCH. THAT HURT.

2009-03-19T04:10:00.011-10:00

Those were the words I uttered after leaving the Canon Activities Center in Laie, and it wasn't because my butt was sore from sitting on the bleachers. In front of a crowd of over 4,000 (WOW!), the BYUH Mens Basketball team lost their chance to the BIG 16 in last night's regional conference matchup. It was an upsetting game considering we were up by as many as 13 or so points and led throught the whole game up until the last few minutes. Whoever heard of CAL POLY POMONA anyway? In my opinion, CPP didn't deserve to win, but such is the nature of competition...you win some, you lose some (a concept my husband doesn't understand). He left the game so disgruntled and angry because he said "I didn't sit uncomfortably for NOTHING", and demanded we leave AS SOON as the buzzer deemed us LOSERS. I, on the other hand, LIVE for this type of heart-wrenching matches, and found the game entertaining and the loss stunning. But that doesn't take away from the loyalty I give to my Seasiders, who much like the Kahuku Boys Bbball team, had so much talent but suffered an amazing season-ender. (They only lost once prior to last night's game.) That's the difference between Bo and I...he carries no loyalty to BYUH or Kahuku HS being from the mainland, but win or lose, I take pride in our North Shore athletes whether high school, college, elementary...it doesn't matter, even if I'm there or not.

This being the first BYUH game I've watched all season, I was really impressed with Juniors

Lucas Alez, the Pac-West player of the year (out of Brazil)

and

Virgil "JR" Buensuceso, the baddest ball-handler on the team (out of California).

Because of them, I'm definitely coming back next season, but sheesh, that still hurt...

AKAs

2009-03-18T03:30:00.004-10:00

AKA's - this one is fun and easy. Change the info below and add you own answers!

1. YOUR REAL NAME: Matatala Audrey Poloai Malupo
2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mother and father's middle names): They don't have any, so I guess I'd be nameless
3. NASCAR NAME (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad): Folau Tivao
4. STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name): Malma
5. DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color, favorite animal): Pink Panther...haha. ok i lie, Panther's not my fav animal...really I don't have one, but I think that chihuahua's are cute, so PINK CHIHUAHUA
6. SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, town where you were born): Audrey Provo
7.SUPERHERO NAME (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning): The Black Mug <--root beer
8. FLY NAME (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name): Mapo
9. STREET NAME (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie): Rocky Road Chocolate Chip
10. ROCK STAR NAME (current pets name, current street name): Leila Kamehameha (We don't have a pet, so "Leila" is Lole's stuffed cat's name)
11. YOUR GANGSTA NAME(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Matizzle
12. YOUR GOTH NAME (black, and the name of one of your pets): Black Rocky

LOLE: FOUR YEARS and COUNTING

2009-03-16T22:23:00.006-10:00

As mentioned in my post below, Lole turned four this past weekend, on the 14th. Normally, every year I make a little music *video featuring pics and clips of the highlights of that year, but I've been so busy and TIRED lately that I haven't come around to it. Until then, here are a few things I wanted to share about her to date.

Lole was an only child for 4 years, so a lot of her personality traits are a result of her being amongst many adults throughout her life. She is mature for her age, not just in attitude (which she packs a lot of) but in her language and mannerisms as well. She is often telling people what to do, how to do it, and enjoys the company of young adult ladies just as much as she does children her own age. Her favorite thing right now is wearing dresses, lip gloss, fancy shoes, and anything that she thinks is pretty. She loves cheese pizza and close to nothing else, but is slowly broadening her tastes to things like pasta and broccoli. She's definitely a Storyteller; sometimes giving false accounts of things just for the sake of conversation, and likes to explain things to me like I'm 3 instead of 30. She doesn't discriminate when it comes to music, and can sing a tune even after hearing it only once or twice. Lole likes to pretend she can speak Spanish and sometimes when the Tongan language is being spoken in our home, she will try to mimic whoever is speaking, usually in a joking manner. She loves to laugh and point out the funnies people say or do, and is very empathetic when it comes to situations that call for sensitivity, as in death, pain or other sad things. Even though she's still super shy in public and not comfortable enough to sit in a structured dance class (she tried), Lole likes to dance Polynesian dances and the more modern, hip-hop. Lately, she's been showing some rather grown-up moves (thanks to Single Ladies, ABDC, and other dance acts she's seen) but she's so cute and usually complies when I tell her what is appropriate vs. inappropriate. Her cousin Juju is still her best friend, though they fight a lot more than they used to when they were younger. Best of all, Lole is a great big sister and often cries when she can't hold her baby or when others do so without her consent. I'm so blessed to have her in my life, and look forward to enjoying more of her wonderful personality in years to come.

*Lole's videos:
Lole's Arrival - Pregnancy, Birth, up to about 4 mos. (Song: Fiji's "Jowenna")
She's One - about 3 mos. to 1 year (Song: "Mihi Au Ia Oe")
Turning Two - Age 1 to 2 (Song: "Little Girls" by Riff)
Lole & Friends Age 3 (Song: Miley Cyrus' "True Friend")

Birthday Weekend

2009-03-15T04:49:00.017-10:00

Ahhhh, our sweet Lole turned 4 on Saturday, March 14th. It was a pretty restless week, considering I didn't really plan anything major for her. On Thursday we had a get together for our whole school, so I surprised her with a huge birthday cake and all the kids sang for her.

On her actual birthday, she chose cocoa and french bread (her favorite) and eggs for breakfast. Then we went to Walmart to get a few things and also let her choose whatever she wanted for a gift. She chose a pink sundress and a walking puppy. Next we hit up Costco for some baby things and food for her birthday dinner on Sunday. It was such a long day (and we sang Happy Birthday to her numerous times on the ride and in the stores) and by the time we got home I was so hash, it hurt to close my eyes. Here we are goofing off after a long day of shopping!

Sunday she wore her white dress from Aunty Seta and new shoes that I bought for her birthday as well, and I surprised her Sunbeam class with pink strawberry cupcakes & lolipops.

There were only 3 kids (don't know what happened to the others) total so they got to have their fill.

Later that evening we had an eating with our neighbors and some of our close family, to enjoy some GRUB: Chicken Broccoli, Teri Meatballs, Crab Salad, Lu-Sipi, Tapioka, Rice, Shrimp & a family favorite, (my mother-in-law's) Apple Otai. My sister made her a cute Barbie cake which looked so good we left her untouched and ate the the other desserts.

Lole had a great time reveling in the attention and celebration of and FOR HER, and loved her (oh so girly) gifts from her cousins in Kahuku & Utah, money from Grandma in Utah, and of course the spoilings from mom and dad. Even though it wasn't a big party, we made sure she had a pinata, but this is the last time coz she didn't even wanna touch it! Hmmph! I'm sure glad birthdays come only once a year!

ALOHA HARD!

2009-03-09T23:50:00.003-10:00

Lole was gone all day with her aunt and grandparents so I was home alone with my baby. I thought we'd get some good napping time, but I ended up doing 5 loads of laundry, cleaning the room, and catering to Laila's every need. My biggest dilemma with her right now is feeling like I have inadequate milk supply and still trying to get her to latch GOOD everytime. (Whoever said breastfeeding was easy didn't have a child who opened her mouth a half an inch in diameter) So today was one of those days where she seemed to be unsatisfied and needed to be fed constantly...I even pumped and supplemented so I could make sure she was getting enough, but for some reason she was restless and COULD NOT SLEEP THE WHOLE DAY until about 8 or 9pm. I have never seen her so tired and cranky, and frankly I am right now too, but I had to share this ROCK video from Anapesi's blog before I close my eyes...watch it, it's hillarious! Hanohano...lol!.

SUNDAY THOUGHTS

2009-03-08T17:37:00.005-10:00

Oh man, I just woke up from an afternoon nap and it feels so good to have gotten some Zzzs. (I haven't had a day nap in like a week!) Anyway, nothing really interesting to blog about today, just wanna shoot some random lines through here real quick. Today was our Laie Hawaii Stake Conference. Normally I am really attentive at these things, but with my itchy-pants-can't-sit-down-need to use the bathroom as soon as we get up the stairs-toddler, my hungry & pooping infant, and my snoring husband, i managed to catch just a few bits & pieces. I believe our Stake theme for the next 6 mos. is "Look to Jesus and live". Three separate talks on CONTENTION, TITHING, and STRENGTHENING the FAMILY helped me re-learn the following: contention inhibits us from living truly happy lives, there is no insurance more important than paying tithing, and the most valuable work anyone can ever do in the church is that which happens within the walls of your own homes. Not bad considering the above noted distractions! I was also star-struck by the KHS BBALL players I saw in attendance, after a heartbreaking State Championship loss to Kamehameha the night before (47-45). My favorite center Kona Schwenke, 6'8" Christian Feagai, and star point guard Irwin AhHoy (even the nation's famed football star Manti Te'o) were all there sitting with their FAMILIES. And so my favorite quote from conference is "Where family ends, delinquency begins!" I'm not sure which prophet said that, but it is my goal to make a home where my family loves to be, so they don't seek for love/acceptance anywhere else. All in all a great day!

RED RAIDER BBALL

2009-03-06T21:33:00.005-10:00

The Kahuku Boys beat Iolani tonight in the State Semis in yet another 4th quarter heart stopper. (The night before they inched past Punahou 40-39) It was an awesome game, and a little close for comfort but what can you expect when you have the best in the state battling it out for the Championship game. I was kinda hoping Kaimuki would've beat no. 1 ranked Kamehameha so Kahuku (ranked no. 2) could play the Bulldogs for the 6th time this season...but we're going head to head with the Warriors and it's gonna be O for AWESOME! Nehoa Akina you're my hero (5 3's in the game, 17 total) but my favorite moment was the "Play of the Game" when an Iolani player stole the ball from us and ran base to base only to get swatted by Jray Galeai under tha basket. If this were football, that would've been a sort of "KATOOSH" moment. Ahhh. Good game boys and GOOD LUCK AT THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS TOMORROW!

Bottle from Heaven

2009-03-04T14:00:00.005-10:00

I saw this on "A BABY STORY" yesterday and I was blown away. Apparently it was also featured on Oprah (but I don't watch her much) and was designed for upright feeding--thus reducing ear infections and colic--but is ideal (and lifesaving) for feeding multiples. It's a hands-free feeding solution so when you're traveling, need to feed more than one at a time, or just plain tired, you don't have to hold your baby's bottle for them. In fact you don't even have to hold your baby! While baby is in the carseat or stroller, or on a pillow, just stick the nipple in and set the bottle upright to the side. (The tube works as a straw!) It's so convenient and dare I say...LAZY, but ingenious nonetheless. These are definitely on my baby items wish list!

GIRLS!

2009-03-03T22:23:00.007-10:00

Today is GIRLS DAY (recognized and adopted from ancient Japanese culture) as I found out at Lole's school early this afternoon. We celebrated there by making cherry blossom trees for art and sushi for snacks. Lole is NOT a fan of sushi, but since she made it herself she gave it a whirl and took a few bites. After school she got to eat her favorite food (cheese PIZZA), and I bought the ice cream of her choice as well as a bag of lollipops. We even made Pillsbury choc chip cookies--officially my new favorite ready-made dough--which I ate most of. My little girl is growing up way too fast, and here's my proof. I almost died today when she out of the blue asked "Mommy do you have sexy with boys?"--{To myself: "Did I just hear what I thought I heard?"} "What are you talkin about Lole?" and then she asked me again. I was so dumbfounded I just said "NO!" First of all, Lole does know the word SEXY...she thinks it means looking cute or hot, but how she connected that with boys is a mystery to me and I am HORRIFIED. I admit sometimes we are careless when it comes to screening what we see on TV, but this is scary. Disney Channel you are officially our new best friend again....you and these cookies. {oiaue}

SHORT HAIR

2009-03-01T03:12:00.010-10:00

I don't know if it's just a Polynesian thing or not, but long hair seems to be a timeless trademark in our culture. I've had long hair all of my life, except for the one or two occasions my hair had to get chopped for ukus in elementary school. lol. (Where is my 4th grade pic when I need it?) Anyway, I KNOW what I look like with long hair so 2 years ago, I let my husband chop it!

Since then, I've been wanting to grow my hair back, but it was stuck in that UGLY stage--when it's not long enough or short enough to do anything cute with it--so for the past few months of pregnancy and weeks after giving birth, I'd been sporting the lazy TRASH BUN/PONYTAIL! YUK! So, I finally went back to the salon and I was surprised at how brave I was. I know, It's so short I can't even pull it back when I'm hot, but I'm so relieved to be rid of my lazy fa'apaku and ponytail. The hard part will be trying to get it to look like this everyday and knowing me...it probably WON'T!

PAY IT FORWARD

2009-02-27T21:54:00.002-10:00

Okay, so 2 of my friends on here have blogged about this and I'm totally in to it because of the element of surprise...so here's the game:

1. Be one of the first THREE bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me (i will add "semi-handmade" too just in case).

2. Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will pay it forward, creating a handmade gift -anything!- for the first THREE bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

3. The gift that you send to your 3 friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember it’s the spirit and the thought that count!

4. When you receive your gift, blog about it! If you are not one of the first three to comment on this post, you can still play along. Go ahead and start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same! It's all about paying it forward.

ew Sick!

2009-02-27T07:43:00.003-10:00

So on Wednesday I was out THE ENTIRE DAY with the stomach flu. Unfortunately, having the squirts, (yah i said it), vomiting, body & head aches, didn't excuse me from my duties as milkmaid, even though I had to supplement a lot! It was a hard 24 hours, trying to still be a mother to my kids whilst laying in bed, but thankfully the next day it was all OVER! Lole was such a help (just for that day) by getting my water, helping me with baby, and best of all, no whining from her about dresses, lipgloss, or messy hair. Laila on the other hand kept staring at me funny while I was laying there in pain. I hadn't been sick for a really long time so I'm really glad it was just a 24 hour bug. You really do have nothing without your health!

My Tongan Girl

2009-02-20T07:53:00.004-10:00

Here's Lole trying to sing "OFA MO'ONI"--one of her and her dad's favorite Tongan songs.

THREE WEEKS

2009-02-20T02:36:00.003-10:00

Laila turned 3 weeks yesterday and grows stronger by the day. She is often comforted by music and loves talking to her Dad. We melt every time we chance a smile from her, and laugh at her frequent farting. She is a heavy sleeper and will not discriminate when it comes to bottles, formula, or susu...she'll take whatever. She is such a joy and we are loving every minute!

Scoldings from my Sunbeam

2009-02-18T20:44:00.004-10:00

On Sunday we left church after Sacrament Mtg, but not before taking Lole to primary. Even though I felt guilty for ditching, we arranged for Grandma or Aunty to pick her up after class, and went home with baby. I was half asleep when Lole came home and this is what she said to me and Bo after bursting through the door.

"HEY, why did you guys leave church? JESUS IS GONNA SASA YOU!"

Lol. You have all been forewarned.

Picture Tag

2009-02-18T16:47:00.004-10:00

*From Hine

The Rules:
1. Go to your Documents/ Pictures
2. Go to you 6th Folder (if get)
3. Go to your 6th Picture
4. Blog about it
5. Tag 6 people to do the same
6. Here we go...6th photo from the 6th folder of 2009: Well, I think this picture is pretty self-explanatory. Our baby girl is finally here, and her big sister couldn't be happier. Here, Laila is 4 days old and she'd been home with us for 2 days. Lole is 3 yrs. old (going on 16) and loves her sister so much she doesn't like to share. Even at 4 days old, Laila could be seen moving her head around to find Lole's face when she talked. How sweet is that? I, on the other hand, was still experiencing the "baby blues", most especially that day because Dad had to go back to work. I cried about everything and nothing (maybe because I never picked up my pain killers still to this day) and actually missed the hospital and all the "pampering" from the nurses. Ahh, I LOVE MY GIRLS!

I TAG: Anyone

OH BABY!!!

2009-02-02T11:53:00.011-10:00

HERE SHE IS!

LAILA FIAGATASI MALUPO

BORN: JAN 29, 2009 @ 5:54 AM

WEIGHT: 8 LBS. 15 OZ.
HEIGHT: 20 in

THE BASICS:
1/27 Midnight- Mucus plug came out
1/28 3 am- Thought my water was leaking
1/28 6 am - Arrived at Queens Hospital (contractions every 5 mins)
1/28 8 am- Found out I was still early and only about 2 cm dilated (grrr)
1/28 6 pm- Even after walking around, bouncing on the exercise ball, still only @ 3 cm, still contracting every 3-5...gave up trying to "rough it"after 12 hours and got the EPI! <--thank goodness, WTH was I thinking?
1/28 Midnight- Still at a 3, but comfortable as heck and getting some rest
1/29 3am- Discouraged and seriously contemplating C-SECTION
1/29 4:00 am- Water finally broke, fully dilated, now just waiting...meanwhile, the EPI is wearing off (AHHHH!) and nurse #4 won't give me anymore
1/29 5:54 am- After about an hour of pushing, she finally came out!

The feelings of relief and (not to mention violation) after she finally arrived were so unbelievable that I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW I DID IT. I know women do it all the time, but for me, every experience was totally NEW and I am still AMAZED. Successful VBAC, healthy baby, and recovering well...what more could I ask for?

Here are just a few pics:

Just got to the hospital, anxious Mom and Dad

Big sister Lole meeting Laila for the first time

Mean muggin like her dad

Click Here to see her hospital pics.

We've waited so long for Laila to finally arrive since discovering we were pregnant @ 4 weeks. She is a well-tempered baby (SO FAR) though throughout most of my pregnancy, I was an emotional wreck. In fact, the news of her conception came at a time when my marriage seemed to have been going to much lower lows than welcomed. Thus, her middle name (after my sister) means TOGETHER, or to bring together (as one). The timing of her arrival is no coincidence, and there's no doubt in my mind that my Heavenly Father, through the gift of her life, TRULY LOVES ME!

We love you BABY!