Sunday, January 24
again
i've been here before. slept with a broken heart, barely. maybe not so much broken (because you can't break this heart any more than it already has), but in AWE...wondering awe, how someone could be so cold, so inconsiderate, so thoughtless, so heartless. i despise (to my soul) the fact that i stay married to an alcoholic; that i sit here helpless and hanging on to someone that doesn't want to be held on to. someone who when he doesn't come home at night, doesn't answer your calls, leaves you to your thoughts about where the hell he could be and what the hell he could be doing, and then downplays his action to make you feel like you shouldn't chastise him because he is working so hard for your family, and promises never to do it again...promises never to let you sleep with a broken heart again, and does. this feels so....the last four years. it leaves the most bitter taste in your mouth, when you know you did nothing to deserve it. when you've given a million and more chances to him to make it right, and you've tried to forgive as God asks, and you've gone against your better judgment and advice from those closest to you, to try one more time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I'm so sad for your heartache...growing up with a stepfather that was a alcoholic was horrible. I saw the pain he put my mother through and us. Eventually you would find the strength to break the cycle or your hubby finally realize that he has a disease that is destroying his family and himself.
My heart too is aching for you. I hope you know that you will be blessed for all your efforts of trying to keep your family together. No one really knows all that youve gone through except for you and the Lord, and i applaude you for your courage to share and hope that you continue to have the strength needed to get through this.
:( that just makes me so SAD, and also makes me feel GRATEFUL for the companion that i have in my life!! you are such an awesome person Tala...you don't DESERVE any of this, and you are soooooo strong to stick around & keep giving him the chances that he DOESN'T DESERVE!! just know that I am always thinking of, and praying FOR YOU...stay strong for those 2 lil' angels' of yours!! love ya girl!
tala .. u are standing by your man thru what will more than likely see u thru more pain and sadness. i commend u for that. it truly takes a strong spirit to tackle a disease like alcoholism. it IS a devastating disease, but I think until one recognizes IT as such.. can the healing begin. i keep you in my prayers for better days and more smiles :)
I'm so sorry to hear that you're hurting...again. Keeping you in my prayers.
you are worth more than this. keep ya head up... until you figure out what you need to do.
I know exactly how you feel cause I've been there. All I can say is don't give up. Just keep praying and don't lose hope. Have unwavering faith in God. Things will get better. I will pray for you and your family.
Post a Comment