Thursday, December 27

Meet "The Culprit"


DECEMBER 27, 2012: LINI GIRL'S BIRTHING STORY
The day started off with just another 9 AM doctor's visit. I had already started my maternity leave 2 weeks earlier thinking that she would come a lot sooner than she did. I have a feeling I could've waited even a few more days, maybe even til her due date which was the 29th. So, anyway, feeling heavy and discouraged, Bo and I walke into the office thinking it would be another routine checkup. My mucous plug had come out a week earlier and nothing happened so I was sure I hadn't even dilated any. The doctor checked my cervix and said "You wanna have this baby today?" Of course my husband was quick to say YES, today!

I felt so rushed. It's not typical of my pregnancies to have to be forced into labor. So anyway, he told us to go home, get packed and check in to the hospital as soon as possible. I didn't even get to deliver at my hospital of choice so I was pretty bummed. Granted, I didn't have to drive over an hour to get there (as in the case of my 2 others), but still, the one I wanted to deliver at is literally a minute away.

getting the gown on
b.s.'n about nothing...
 We arrived at Timpanogos Hospital and by 1030 I was getting changed and filling in paper work. They finally started my Pitocin at about noon because nothing was happening on its own. I seriously just wanted to relax and sleep for I knew the journey ahead could be long but I started to progress about 2 hours later.
I tried  to endure the pain once again, but there was a shooting sensation going down my left side and it was just horrible. Every time they checked my cervix I was at a good 4 but not enough. Finally around 330 I was dying but I was also a good 5 or 6. I couldn't take it though and asked for the epidural. At about 440, *finally* they gave it to me, and by then I was already almost 8 and having painful contractions. But what I thought would bring relief, didn't. I had numerous "injections" of whatever medicine it was to numb the pain but it never really took.
in pain, can't smile....
Ahhh!
My right side took to the meds ok, but my left side never numbed up. It was horrible. I cried and I kept telling my husband and doctors, I
CAN STILL FEEL EVERY shooting horrible pain, I felt like my baby was pushing down on my pelvic bone. Shortly after 5pm, I was finally dilated and able to start pushing. Oh boy, push I did. In less than a half an hour, with my sister Seta and husband coaching me, my Leilini was finally born at 5:29pm.
FINALLY HERE!!!!! YAY!
Baby came out quietly. She weighed 8.13 and was 21 inches long. It was an ugly birthing, but she was so beautiful. I got to hold her to my chest while doc sewed me up (more pain!) and she was just so peaceful.
 
Named after her Dad, (yah that's right...because who's to say I will have any more children, let alone a boy? Besides, daddy's name sounds like a girl's anyway), Leilini's middle names are Areta (first half of my oldest sister's name) Silika (last half of Bo's oldest sister's name). She was welcomed later (once I was sewn up and moved into another room) by her sisters, my parents, the whole Unga clan, Bo's sisters, some of my first cousins, and thankfully...a burrito from Betos.

 
 


Wednesday, December 19

Been a while, crocodile!

Yes, I am finally connected again! I must say, I have missed being a part of the "world", or at least having access to it, at my fingertips. A lot has happened in the months I have been gone. Not sure if I will get to catch up seeing as the most important thing on my mind right now is the upcoming birth of my 3rd child. At 38w4d, I am anxious, tired, excited and scared all at the same time. It aint my first rodeo, but this is probably the least prepared I have been (mentally, physically and financially). I still don't even have any names yet. It is also 30 degrees and snowing outside and that suuuuuuucks. Anyway, all of yous out there who are still hanging on to their blogs, HI AGAIN! I'll be back real soon ; )

Tuesday, August 21

Back to School

Summer has finally ended and once again, I've been MIA for most of it. Hopefully I can catch up with all of that, but for now I just wanted to share a pic of Lole just before dropping her to her teacher to start her 2nd grade year. I'm missing her as I type, because for the past few months since her cousins went back home, she has been a big help around the house. I was so spoiled because when she would wake up, she'd make do for herself and her sister until I got up,letting me catch much needed zzzs. She learned how to do some cleaning up and vaccuming, but what I appreciated most was the time she spent bonding w sister Laila. It was fun watching them play/fight/sing/dance and eat together without a care in the world. Gone are our lazy summer days, but I will remember them always. Cheers to the new school year baby!


Friday, June 1

The culprit!

So, this morning I was still feeling like crap after not feeling crap all day yesterday. (We spent 5 hours at Seven Peaks after nephew's Kindy graduation, and Lole's last hurrah at school!)  I puked right in front of the hubbz, so he decided to delay no longer and take me in, AGAINST MY WILL. I absolutely hate going to the doctor! Most times I go when I'm already better, or they can't find anything wrong with me.  "It sounds like you have Gastroenteritis," said the Instacare doctor--some kind of common ailment that to me, just sounds like "stomach ache"--and he found my white blood cell count was higher than normal (by 1%), so he wanted me to do a CT scan to rule out Appendicitis. I'm thinking, for reals, for that 1%? I should've just went home at that point, but I decided to be a "good patient" and go. No regrets right? For the scan, I went to Radiology @ Utah Valley Regional MC (which happens to be my birthplace), but they took an hour to verify my insurance and since it would take even longer to get approval, they sent me to Emergency. Grrr...E.R.! Another place I hate going to. It smells and feels so sick-y in there.

By the time they check me in, I'm already irritated because they ask me how my pain level is on a scale from 1-10. I say "1" every time, and explain that I'm not in pain, I just was sent here to do a CT scan. After what seems like hours of needless waiting, I finally just tell them to check my urine to see if I have any infection of any kind so I can go home, and at that point I did not wish to do the CT scan. My family is in the room finally when the doc comes in and says I have no infection and most definitely do not look like I have Appendicitis, but that it was up to me if I still wanted to get tested. Bo interrupts and asks if they can just check if I'm pregnant. 20 mins later, Doc comes in and says, "It's positive!"

In my head, I'm thinking I COULD'VE JUST STAYED HOME AND TAKEN A DAMN PREGNANCY TEST instead of waste 6 HOURS seeking medical help for my stomach troubles???!!! Meanwhile, the hubby and kids cannot contain themselves! Lole, "If I could scream Mommy, I would scream really louuuud right now!" Doctor gives us more reason to stay in the E.R. longer by asking if we want an ultrasound to check if everything is ok. Bo and the kids follow me in anticipation. They just need confirmation, I believe...and so did I. In fact, I still don't believe it. The tech (who is not legally allowed to tell us anything from the scan) let me sneak a look at the screen to see the estimated length of pregnancy. It was very surreal to see an unexpected heartbeat, and see that I was indeed pregnant, 9 weeks along, according to their technology.

Despite the wait and hassle of clinics and hospitals, I am very humbled to know we have been blessed again, and miraculously, without the help of fertility pills. (I guess I should be glad I didn't have to take my appendix out either.) I know it's still pretty early, but I am shocked, and nervous, and excited, and happy at the same time. I'm especially glad to know why I have been so sick!


Monday, May 28

UNwell.

Today I am grateful for much. I spent the last 3 days in bed, not so much in physical agony, but in pain nonetheless with an ailment hard to describe. Weeks have led up to this feeling. Loss of energy, excitement, and/or desire to do just about anything pleasurable. I can't put my finger on it, but I have been unwell. {the word "apathetic" comes to mind, followed closely by a thought that "maybe i'm depressed cause i'm still living in Utah" }I cried all morning Saturday, wishing these feelings would go away. Nausea, headache, loss of appetite, emotional, unable to get out of bed, avoiding any social settings other than work...and just feeling blah. {did I mention I put on 20 lbs and counting, since we moved here?} Medicine did nothing for me, so I asked for a Father's blessing. Mom and Dad stopped their afternoon errands to come to my aid, and then over-hearing that I was craving Cinnabons, mom dropped by later with 2 pans. The next morning, I had to call in to work again. I am not in any position to miss work, nor do I like to. But my body wouldn't move, so I had to. That afternoon, my sister down the street (who happens to have two sick children) brought a pot full of delicious chicken noodle soup, bread, and liters of sprite, and brownies to help me feel better. I didn't even get to thank her because I was laying in bed 3/4 of the day. Then the sweetest thing: I overheard my oldest daughter praying for me near my bedside. She thought I was asleep, but I heard her...not once, but twice throughout the day (and an admitted 3rd time over her bowl of cereal), pray for her mom to get better. She even waited on my physical needs: food/drink/pills. I feel so undeserving and blessed at the same time, but now that I am even a little better, I can reflect on the joy that comes from knowing who is on my side. Where I go from here, is yet to be determined, but counting my blessings is always a start UP.

PS: this is not my first "UNwell" post, I am realizing...

Monday, April 16

Spring Break

We had an awesome week with the kiddos! We didn't do anything too flashy, just a lot of family time. Mornings/afternoons at the Orem Rec Center were probably the best because I go to workout and then join the kids for swimming. We took a drive to Vernal for a job interview for Bo (which he didn't get), but it was a pretty scenic tour. We also got our Utah Pass of All Passes ($10 each on a limited time only CityDeals promotion), which allows us free entry into Trafalga centers, Seven Peaks Water Parks, Provo Ice Arena, and tons of local sports games! We jumped on Trafalga first, because I used to work there back in 1998. LOL! It is much improved and the ids loved it! I am not a fan of mini golf, but I did enjoy the 4XD ride which Lole wanted to do over and over. On Sunday, we even went to church for the first time in months (minus Bo), so it was a great way to end a fun week! I can't wait to get a REAL camera, 'cause these camera photos don't do anything for me.

Friday (last day of the break) we took all the kids to the pool and ate out at McD's


We finally went to the BYU Creamery during spring break, mmmm! It's my new favorite!
 Indoor glow in the dark mini-golfin' at Trafalga
  
                          
My girls also got into the movie SELENA over the break...
 
On another side note, SASHA FIERCE (my SIL's car) died during Spring Break too. There's Bo and a nice man from Provo Construction, coming to her aid. My SIL is crying in there coz Bo was yellin' at her for not taking better care...on the bright side, there's a beautiful rainbow behind them = )


Sunday, April 8

Manuia le Aso Eseta!

      
This is the first Easter without my sister Fia and her kids in Hawaii, so we miss them a lot right about now. I never did egg-dying because she would always have that ready, and my sister Seta down the street who would probably have taken over, is playing Easter bunny in Vegas. Lol. We definitely miss them too. So, this year was actually my first attempt at egg coloring and hunting with my kids...alone!!! They had so much fun with the eggs yesterday and asked to do it again today. (Not happening). Then when it was time for the egg hunt, of course Lole was breezing through em all, while Laila took her time getting one by one. We miss the cousins, but it was nice to see the two of them bonding...plus they had the loot all to themselves.
My yard is not very big, so I just threw the eggs out there, and scattered them all over the house. LOL. I prefer actually HIDING them, but husby was busy cooking brats, so I had no other help. Speaking of husby, he only requested one thing for Easter Day. We ate chicken curry, rice, grilled brats and crab-mac salad. No time for desserts, but we have tons of leftover sweets and candies galore. I know I missed the TRUE ESSENCE of Easter, that being the remembrance/celebration of Christ's Resurrection...but I did show my kids the LDS Easter Message. I had planned to do an object lesson (from Lu), but with cooking breakfast and Easter lunch, and preparing the egg hunt and Easter baskets, all before going to work...I just didn't have enough time. 
      
HAPPY EASTER FAMILY AND FRIENDS! 

Thursday, March 15

Lole's 7th Bday

Lole's bday started off with...SCHOOL, lol since it was the middle of the week. Daddy gave her one of her presents from us the night before, and then while at school, we brought cupcakes and a bouquet of balloons to her class during lunch hour. Later, we got last minute things ready for her party and I spent 2 hours frosting what was supposed to be a ROLLER SKATE. But, since I didn't have room on the plywood for the wheels, I settled with her first initial. Something inside me forgets that my kids are just kids, and that a piece of cake, ice cream, and a few presents would probably suffice. However, we went from "simple" to excessive in a matter of days while planning for Lole's birthday party, because we found out that our venue, Classic Fun Center--a convenient 2 mins away from our home--ALSO has a Karaoke room and a big screen TV for Xbox Kinnect. Because it was the middle of the week, we were the only big group there, so it felt like we had the whole place to ourselves. We decided that instead of traditional goody bags for the kids, we'd make t-shirts that the kids could have to remember her party. Then, we realized how cute they were and that the adults would want some shirts too. We passed out glow bracelets and had hair color spray for those who wanted it, and we bought a few pairs of colored glasses and gloves to match the bright colors. We ended up with about 10 pizzas, unlimited drinks (to accompany the unlimited activities: skating, bouncing, karaoke, dance central, arcade games and huge jumpers), cream cheese/walnut brownies, chocolate and vanilla ice cream, and a tie dye vanilla cake in the shape of a big "L". Kids had a great time, but I think the adults had equally as much fun. Lole got some outfits, 3 new pairs of shoes, a 72 hour kit (lol @ Mom), some coloring stuff, money, and candy (of course), but I hope that what she remembers more than what she "got" is the fact that we tried to make her feel special and loved on her birthday, and that each year of life causes for celebration. What can I say? WE LIKE TO P A R T Y!

Thursday, March 1

JBoog 2/27

got to go to a concert this past monday (yah, who has concerts on mondays, i KNOW)! i rode with my cousin all the way to salt lake IN THE SNOW, so i fell asleep to ease my anxiety (lol). by the time we got there, all the opening bands were just about done, and it was time for JBOOG. the last time i saw him perform was when he first came out years ago, opening for a Fiji concert in hawaii...back then he was just an opening act, so it was nice to see him (big time and famous now) headlining. (<---love my new shirt by the way) it was such a good concert and he sang ALL his good ones AND some, even letting kiwini and siaosi do solos. then, we went to the "after party" at club hotel elevate, just down the street...and he gave a few more songs to the crowd before stepping out. it was cool too because the house dj played a mix of new and 80s/90s songs, so you know i was all over that! my cousin tilly, jess, and maafu are great company and we were probably the only sober ones at the club. (note: i did, however, grab a glass of water and was raising it in the air like all the alcoholics, just for fun!) as the performers were leaving, i went outside to say hi to siaosi (we had kicked it with him before in hawaii) and jboog was standing outside talking to a kid i know from kahuku, so i just asked him for a pic and he was really nice about it. i told him "you gave a great concert" but the way i said it was like i was congratulating my kid on a good soccer game. lol. good times. 

Wednesday, February 22

HUNGER GAMES

Very excited for this movie because of (what looks like, so far) really awesome casting! Of course I hate that there are 2 love interests for the girl (reminding me too much of how irritating Bella was in Twilight), and I imagined "Peeta" (Josh Hutcherson) to be a little bit cuter, more like Liam Hemsworth who is playing Gale and is naturally blondish. However, it will be NIIIIICE to watch "Gale" on screen--although, no one will ever be as "NICE" as Brad Pitt was in Legends of The Fall to me--because he and Jennifer Lawrence's character "Katniss" make such a good couple.  I gotta say, after Twilight, I never wanted to read another book with all that love irony. But, so far I like Katniss' character and all the poise she tries to keep. She's plain, but fierce. Strong, yet vulnerable. Because I am already setting myself up for disappointment, I try not to really glue myself to the books. Yes, I have heard that the series doesn't end favorably, which is a horrible way to get started. Barely into the 2nd book, I can sense the author's rush, so I am reading...knowing I will probably be unhappy in the end. Hmmmph. Honestly, I would not be interested if I didn't know the movie was coming out; didn't even watch the official trailer until I finished the book yesterday. March 23rd y'all, YEE! *got tickets for opening night (prob something I will regret since I hate crowds)*
 
Anyway, back to Liam Hemsworth (lol)...I didn't know he was Thor's brother, Chris Hemsworth Thor...big buff blonde guy with the hammer? Ozzie Ozzie Ozzie, Oi Oi Oi--ka fefe! All of a sudden I hate you, Miley Cyrus!

Wednesday, February 15

SICK

Sinus-y. Cough-y. Itchy-Throat-y. Tired. Restless. Sick. 
My babies both had strep last week and when we took them to the doctor, both had the antibiotic shot that made them feel better the next day. I have caught a bad cold (maybe even strep) as a result of all these germs around me and cannot shake it. Irritates the heck outta me when I have to put on all my hats, while sick. UGH! I am laying in bed right now, dreading tomorrow because I'm doing a double shift from 7am to 1030pm, and my sickness isn't getting better. What's worse is that I eat MORE to keep my mouth busy so I'm not constantly coughing, and I exercise LESS (not at all for the past week) because it only induces coughing. I'm just glad my kids are better, but it sucks being at work and home, grumpy as hell and not wanting to do anything. Hoping to kick this sickness in the arse soon! 

Sunday, February 12

Whitney Houston, dies at 48

Whitney Houston (August 9, 1963 – February 11, 2012), was definitely my childhood vocal idol and easily the prettiest singer I grew up watching...I mean she just had the perfect face/eyes/nose/mouth/teeth for those video closeups and forever-long held notes. I LOVED her in the late 80s when she had that poofy, more natural hair, but even when she toned down the spunk, she was still so so beautiful. I will always remember how badly I wanted to sing "The Greatest Love of All" during an assembly at Lupelele Elementary in Samoa, when I was in 3rd grade. I would practice the song at home, but never tried out for it because I was so shy. Til this day I regret not doing it (esp because the girl who actually sang it SUCKED). In 4th grade, while on the Laie School Big Island field trip, one of the chaperon Moms put in a cassette tape of her Whitney album and I could remember the whole bus singing to "Where Do Broken Hearts Go."  And who could forget the memorable Olympic tribute during the 1988 Seoul, Korea games, "One Moment in Time" ?  Remember FLO JO? She made me wish I was black and could run like the wind. That year she took 4 gold medals, and her sister in law Jackie Joyner-Kersee took two.  I didn't really care for her I'm Your Baby Tonight album, except for the title song, so it was a good thing The Bodyguard helped to bring Whitney back to the forefront. Pregnant and glowing in that music video, her I Will Always Love You reminds me of that akward time in my life, transitioning from childhood into early teens. I didn't know a damn thing about love then, but I sure knew how to sing about it thanks to Whitney. However, by the time Waiting To Exhale debuted, I did know a little somethin-somethin', so Exhale (Shoop) takes me back to the nights Marie and I would be in my room, letting slow jams soothe our souls. LOL. The Waiting to Exhale album is still my favorite movie soundtrack of all time!!! Whitney put out a few more hits, like "I Belive In You And Me", "When You Believe", "My Love is Your Love", and my favorite gospel song of hers, "Who Would Imagine A King", but by the time I graduated high school, Mariah Carey was the new Whitney. (We actually sang "Count On Me" at my high school graduation too.) The rest, sadly is history because I couldn't bring myself to listen to anything she made after 2000. I prefer to remember Whitney the way she was in the 80s when she was still bright-eyed and  bushy-haired; still..."Bobby-free". Her amazing career speaks for itself though, and the world can not deny her effortless talent, and the many soulful ballads that filled our homes over the years. So fitting that she really is "free" now, like she sings in this video. Rest in peace, Whitney Houston! May your angelic voice fill the heavens as it did on earth.
                                       

Tuesday, February 7

Love the Skin You're In, Or NOT

     I couldn't go to the gym this morning because Laila was sick, so I did what I could in my matchbox-sized living room: short Yoga/Pilates videos (for beginners of course) and Breathing Meditation (first time ever). My body type can't be messing around with these things, but who knew breathing and stretching could feel so good!?? Then, as Bo and I were watching INSANITY infomercials, I started to get all pumped about working out and losing weight so that I could get to a point where I could even TRY the crazy Insanity challenge.
     I must've been thinking I would have this awesome AFTER picture, because I decided I'd take a BEFORE picture of myself. Let me tell you, it was not cute. NOT. CUTE. ATALL! Later, at work, I weighed myself (don't have one at home yet) and the scale read 210, but I'm pretty sure it's off by a few pounds, lower than it should be. This is about the range I have steadily remained for the last 8 or 9 years--save the 2nd/3rd trimesters of my 2 pregnancies--and I have never gone below a size 16 (ok, sometimes 17/18) jeans, unless they were a kind of exceptional [insert Nacho Libre voice] streeeetchy pants. On the same note, I haven't owned a size Medium shirt in years!  I'm so used to this range that I don't remember how it felt to be 20 lbs lighter, let alone 40 or 50. But even when I was 155 lbs. and fit from playing high school sports, I didn't feel like I was slim or skinny. In my mind, I was a thick polynesian girl. Looking back, I was actually pretty dang scrawny, and I would LOVE to have that body now. Then, in my early twenties I flirted around the 170-90 bracket, not even caring that I was cutting it close to the next hundred.  It must be that I grow accustomed to, and feel content (<------there's that word I hate) in my skin, no matter the weight. Or shall I call it poor "body awareness," because I can easily let myself go and feel normal...still feel like a thick polynesian girl at 150 or 210 lbs., with no desire to change it? I really have never been obsessed over my weight, EVER, but I definitely know the difference when my thighs are rubbing together when I walk, my arms don't fit into a top that the rest of my body does, and when people congratulate me on my pregnancy when I'm nowhere near it (happened to me last Summer).
     Is there any way to train my psyche to feel I should be a fit, size 6, limber and agile polynesian girl? [Okay, let's be real, the last time I was a size 6 was probably when I was 6, so....ummmm, size 12?] Trying to do pilates at 210 lbs was so awkward, and to make it worse, I got off work at 10:30pm and had a teri burger and chips. Lol. I know, big FAIL. I guess I need to carry my crimzon BEFORE picture around to remind me what skin I should NOT be comfortable in. PS: If I ever have a huge REVEAL (lol) I will show you that picture. For now, that's a hell naw. I'm doing YOU a favor, trust me!

Sunday, February 5

Giant Sunday

After work, I went to my sister's for Super Bowl feasting and The Orator  watching with my parents.  I caught maybe 2 mins of the entire Bowl game today, but was happy to hear that the Giants came away with the win! Aside from breaking my diet, I had one of those grateful-to-be-alive-and-working days, because most of my work day was spent having deep, meaningful conversations with a co-worker about life, and family, and the obstacles that make us who we are. A lot's been a lot on my mind today. My job, my kids, the hubbz, our future...

I woke up 4 times last night, twice for my husband, and the other 2 for my 3 year old. I worked a double shift last night, so I fell asleep shortly after I got home, close to 11pm. An hour or two later, I wake up to find my husband missing. I knew exactly where he was, but it wasn't the fact that he went to faikava, it was the SNEAKY way he did it. So I called his cousin (Bo conveniently left his phone at home) so that I could let him know I wasn't happy. I felt my angry, hateful, "I'll show you", "don't make me come over there" attitude coming out again, and I decided to just sleep it off, only instead of that happening, I woke up to one of those cheating dreams. That made me angry again so I attempted to go back to sleep because I needed to sleep for my morning shift. An hour later, I awoke to ANOTHER cheat dream and at that point I just wanted to start throwing punches (in my dreams I always do)! Unfortunately, Bo was still gone, and now my 3 year old was sleeping next to me. Said 3 year old threw up in bed twice, so I had to get up and clean throw up two separate times. (No words for what I wanted to do to Bo by then.) I even heard exactly when he walked in the door, because I had just laid down after soaking the throw up clothes in the laundry soap...but I didn't have the energy (nor the time) to argue.

I got up feeling both rested and still a little irritated, but ended up having THE easiest shift ever. I felt calm, at ease and reflected on my new found ability to let...things...go... Hands down, my biggest foe over the years  because my point always had to be made, my anger always had to be voiced, and I needed to make him feel my hurt, by any means. But every time I thought my case and point was taken, all the energy spent became in vain because Bo would do exactly what he agreed he wouldn't. The cycle would continue, over and over, and over again.

I don't know if my drama LIMIT has been maxed, or if being the only worker has made me feel alpha-like and therefore powerful (like he used to be), or if I have just simply exhausted any energy allotted to fighting with/for my husband. After all, I have spent more than a decade trying to fill this man's bucket; trying to make him happy, trying to keep him on the "right" path, trying to give him what he wants, caving to his every heart-felt, short-lived "I'm sorry", meanwhile leaving my bucket for any leftover scraps of contentment I could gather. By the way, I really do believe that I have had enough of "CONTENT". 

I typically don't get angry at the things my husband chooses to do, and how he lives his life, it's THE WAY HE GOES ABOUT IT that makes all the difference. But I also see that in an upbringing where people are always trying to make decisions for you, one has no other choice but to just feel so physically/emotionally choked.  I am doing to him exactly what his parents have done and still continue to do...try to control his life. I see how he detests it when they do it, so its no wonder that when I do the same, he has no problem rebelling against me. However, I refuse to put (any) more into this relationship than he is willing to match (and he knows this now), and the same goes for his health. I can't make him want to stop his bad habits to save his life. No one can save you but YOU. No one can change you but YOU. No one can make you happy but YOU. And now that I am coming to terms with my thinking errors over the years, I realize I have spent too much time trying to change him and not myself. I am stronger now. I am not so damn needy. Content is overrated. I want Happy. Extremely Happy, even. My abilities to choose my battles have given me so much peace and gosh, I really need to work on filling MY own bucket. I've had an overflow of the bad, and now it's time to fill MY bucket with good again. A big ol' GIANT bucket!

Friday, February 3

HyperTENSION

Yesterday morning was crazy. I shot up to Bo yellin "Hun, can't you heeeeaaaar me? I've been calling you forever?" Mind you, I was sleeping in a completely different room so how COULD I have? Anyway, so he's been having the WORST migraines for a few days straight and I did a horrible thing and kind of just ignored it...not necessarily on purpose, but, you know, I work and am a mom and wife and yadda yadda. Point is, I failed to acknowledge it early on. So it's about 4am and hunny is holding his head in pain, so I take him to the ER. Mind you x2, I have to be at work @ 645 am and have no way of finding coverage since I WAS the coverage. I ended up leaving him there to run to work, didn't even have time to shower (just change, gross) but my co-workers will never know. Anyway, so Bo's blood pressure was something like 188/120. WOW! Normal is 140/90. I cannot. Just to be safe, they took x-rays on his chest/lungs and did a CT scan to make sure there wasn't anything wrong in his head (I can think of a few things), but luckily those tests came out ok. The final culprit: HYPERTENSION which was causing HYPERTENSIVE HEADACHES.

Ugh, what a headache indeed. I don't know how many years I have warned my husband about drinking and smoking (yes, they are factors) and overeating (probably the biggest factor). Yes, we Polynesians love our salty, rich in fat and high in cholesterol/carbs food but enough is enough. He is too young to stroke out and leave me caring for a paraplegic... (knock on wood). So it's time to get serious and get out of this rut. No gut. Skinny butt. You know the deal. I've got to be the agressor (as usual) and start crackin' the whip.

First step: I bought a blender to make healthy juices/smoothies and already, even my Lole loves it. Bo, not so much...but that will come with time. This morning I made him a smoothie out of 1 banana, about 4-5 strawberries (cut and froze them last night) and a handful of fresh baby spinach. Add 2 cups low fat vanilla yogurt and a bit of ice, and voila. Lovingly he looks at the green mess and says, "I hope I don't faint from all those nutirents!" Lol. Pretty sooon!

Next step: Food journal, documenting everything we eat. (Yup, I'm getting on this train too)

More steps in no particular order: Get on DoTerra High Blood Pressure regiment (first I have to buy the vitamins and all the oils, might take a while since they're so expensive), exercise at least 30 mins a day (no exceptions), gather healthy food recipes, cut out fast foods/eating out except for on special occasions (I'm gonna miss you SUSHIYA), snack healthily between meals, completely eliminate soda, cut down on fried/salty foods, and drink lots and lots of water.  I know this is not rocket science, but it's still hard and takes a lot of motivation. So all you heatlhy, fit, carb/calorie conscious friends of mine out there, HELP A SISTA OUT. I am open to all of your suggestions. Thanks in advance!

Sunday, January 29

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "DARLING"

Laila at 3: is still in diapers (lol), loves cartoons (her new obsession after Smurfs is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse), wants to help cook and clean all the time, likes putting on eye shadow and lip gloss, enjoys corn, broccoli, shrimp, chicken, and fruits, loves her sister but doesn't hesitate to hit or talk back to her, likes dancing the "This is Halloween" song on Just Dance 3,  tends to lip sync rather than sing, likes to look at the snow but asks all the time to go to the beach, is very talkative and currently says things like "not fair", "I fart", "mommy, you haffa get outta the bafroom" (she will wait for me outside forever), "te'e pilo" and "summapeech" (thanks Daddy), "I need to go on my laptop", and "I so hunkry". She continues to be very stubborn and very independent (likes to pick out and put on her own clothes). As her zodiac sign suggests, she is naturally funny. She still gives me the biggest hugs and will often smother me when I come home from work. She finds comfort in being skin to skin or hugging cheek to cheek and doing weird things like pulling on our ears lobes (biting her lower lip while doing so) and playing with our fat. Laila loves to watch and read about animals, and enjoys drawing and coloring. She takes care if someone has an owie or cries, likes to do things her way, is protective of her mommy and sister, has a sharp mouth when scolding anyone, but has the sweetest disposition when she wants to. Laila is also...still sleeping with mom and dad (lol) but I couldn't have it any other way. I love having my children near me at night, even it it means the 4 of us squishing together, barely able to move. As usual, she still shies around strangers, but is waaaay better at rejecting people's affections. Another year later, she is still my "Darling" (sister Fia's blog nickname for her), and I look forward to seeing more of her Aquarius personality shine. HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY LAILA!
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Saturday, January 28

Laila's Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Bday

My baby turns 3 Jan.29, but we celebrated her on Sat 28th with a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse themed birthday party. Of course you wouldn't know because I FORGOT the camera in the car. I'm so mad at myself because I really wanted to document it well, but at least my sister in law captured a few moments. We had a BBQ (in 30 degree Winter weather) with some yummy teriyaki beef, chicken, hot dogs, brats, beef sausages, complete with potato salad and rice. We also had Laila's favorites: parmesean corn on the cob, steamed broccoli, and shrimp. I stayed up all night making her rainbow cupcakes, chocolate covered oreos (in the shape of a mickey mouse head), andes mint cookies, homemade butter cream frosting, and a huge Mickey mouse shaped chocolate cake (I used the sour cream/choc pudding recipe---soo super moist). My sister added brownies, choc chip cookies, guava cake and goodie bags. We were definitely in BBQ and SWEETS heaven. These are the only pictures we have from the party.
 Rainbow cupcakes and chocolate covered oreos were a hit. 
It was so busy we didn't even get to play the birthday games I had in mind. But we had so much fun laughing, dancing, and DEFINITELY eating away. 

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