BUT I LOVE THEM!

I don’t like FA’ALAVELAVE’s and we usually never go ‘coz Bo is somewhat anti-social when it comes to his family. Yesterday we found out that my mother-in-law’s uncle passed away on her Palepale family side, and for some reason or other, Bo actually wanted to go. I murmured silently and aloud, trying to get my husband to realize how tired he was from work to convince him we shouldn’t. I even uttered that this was going to be a waste of time, and that we don’t even REALLY KNOW the dude who died (actually he knew him a little, I didn’t at all). Bo never responded defensively and instead gave me the option to stay home. I reluctantly agreed to go and as we were getting ready, Lole asked me where we were headed. (I’ve taken her to Mormon services at the chapel before but never to a Tongan putu of another faith.) I explained to her that we were going to a funeral because someone in grandma’s family died. It surprised me to hear the sadness in her response and to see the sincerity in her face as she said ever so sweetly, “Aw…BUT, I LOVE THEM!”

These simple words spoken from naïve innocence rang clear in my thoughts. How could my 3 year old child, who knew nothing of the deceased—save his relation to grandma—show such Christ-like compassion for a stranger? And how could I NOT have? Lole never asked why we had to go. She never complained. She even carried herself in a somber and reverent manner at the putu, asking only for her doll and for someone to hold her during the strange prayers that I joked sounded like Arabic chantings. BUT, I LOVE THEM she said…like a plea to the heavens for those who knew not what they did…like a response to the “peculiar” ways (according to the world) in which we worship, redeem the dead, and gather the Saints…our LOVE…for ANYTHING meaningful, be it God, country, family, lifestyles or callings, is our REASON. And as we know and learn through our faith, CHRIST is the way.

Selfishness is unbecoming of a Latter Day Saint, if I am so worthy to call myself such, and so is taking without ever giving or reaching out to those in need of comfort and support. Even though it was more like a (very small) hand in the kitchen as my mom-in-law prepared food, driving her to and from Kalihi and repectful smiles/hugs to her grieving family, my shame (for complaining earlier) dissipated in the end. Such is the calling of a Christ-like people: to mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that need comfort and to bear one another’s burdens that they may be light...WILLINGLY and WITHOUT RESERVE simply because YOU LOVE THEM.

Thank you Lole for this reminder!